Posted on by Belladonna

Look After Yourself Friday

I’m doing me, and I hope you’re doing you!

Can you imagine being married to someone for 20-plus years, living in their shadow while they put career first and family second? Then, when life gets good, they dump your flat on your face. 

The kids are raised, your bank account looks like a divine piece of decadent chocolate cake, money is no longer a problem, the kids are grown, and you are now alone. You’re left navigating your way through life with just you and your dog, searching for your new normal.        

How can you not think, “How did I end up in this predicament”?  

Then, the final shoe drops when you see the man that you used to call your husband with another woman. He’s showering her with gifts, trips, a beautiful home, and…

Wait for it, wait for it; MORE CHILDREN!

He’s starting a new family with fresh beginnings. And there you are, watching HULU alone, eating popcorn alone, growing oldER alone. Well, not entirely alone because, after all, you do still have your dog.

But let’s face it, if the dog had a choice, he might jump ship at this point, too.  

News FLASH

I don’t want to be this woman! So today, I am looking after myself by making sure my life is moving in the direction that suits me and my career. Staying stagnant is good if you are a young mom/dad and have little kiddos at home, but once they are in school, you now have the opportunity to do you.

Make sure you have a plan, a life outside of your husband and kids, and most importantly, make sure YOU are on your priority list.

I would love to read what you are doing to look after yourself today. 

Cheers to the weekend!

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!               

~Belladonna~                                                                                                                                                                  

73 Replies to “Look After Yourself Friday”

  5. I will prepare delicious food for the weekend and just will work on my proyect,
    listening music and being with my self. Thank’s for share dear Belladonna.
    Hope you are fine, take care! Have a relaxing time!

    Liked by 2 people

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  6. Thanks for sharing this empowering message. It’s a reminder to prioritize self-care and personal growth, even after unexpected life changes. Your words resonate, urging us to focus on our own happiness and well-being. 🌟🙌

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Oh God noooooo! LOL
      My husband is filling my wine glasss up now and heading to our kids sporting events with me tomorrow.
      I just know that sometimes we all forget to make sure we are building something for us! This has happened to a few clients of mine.

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  9. I’ve seen this happen so many times, and always seemed so stupid, and taught me to never ever even be tempted to not be a husband, and for my wife to always know everyone I was friends with or socialized with……..she trusts me, and trusts my friends to keep me on the straight and narrow (my besties are female) they can be pretty harsh at times……but when you’ve seen co-workers just do stupid things, fool around, brag on Facebook and cannot understand how his wife found out..when called out, just left, refused to talk to his wife at all – they’d just had a kid – I wanted to smack the guy across the head……so stupid and such a waste

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    1. Ughhhh that is the worse! Why braag and post but not have the courage to tell your spouse. I’ll never understand that and how can anyone manage their time while juggling multiple lives.

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  14. Yesterday evening after work and grocery shopping, I treated myself to a delicious and hearty seafood meal from the restaurant across the street from me. I also watched the latest Terrell Grice episode on YouTube, too. I had a grand old time by myself!

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  16. As someone who divorced after 17 years, this is excellent advice.

    I’ve been remarried now for 13 years to one of my best friends from high school, and life cannot get better.

    But it was difficult starting over.

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    1. Thank you Kymber! So sorry that happened to you, yet glad that everything worked out the way it was supposed too.
      I know way too many people men and women that have started over after so many years of marriage.

      I

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  17. Last marriage i kept it together for about 15 years the last 5 she had continued to cheat. Couldn’t take it anymore and the last straw was when she attempted to turn my son against me.. this one has been going strong though and we are on year 13.. amazing how time flies.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. HUGE CONGRATULATION to y’all! That is so good that you found twelve that was meant for you.
      I don’t get how people can be so spiteful and cheat! Just leave and stop playing with someones heart. I’m sorry you went through that but so happy you found your rainbow.

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      3. I think she stayed and steung me along cause i was paying all the bills.. its amazing though how the guy she cheated on me with didnt want any part of her after I about 2 months after I left

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Well Belladonna, I got out of my first marriage faster than I thought…ok so it was 5 1/2 years, but I gave the union the benefit of the doubt. He gave me the benefit of continuing to cheat and be abusive. But now, as Shalimar sang “The second time around is better than the first time!” We’re entering 24 years and we’ve learned how to deal with the good, the bad, and the ugly. And as Forrest Gump says, “That’s all I have to say about that!” 😂😲🤣

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    1. LOLOLOLOLO why are are the way you are! Girl you Mae he most serious moments, funny.
      Where can we find this guy that made you feel some kind of way? I want to hug him around his neck with my hands.
      I don’t know why folks have to cheat AND be violent, JUST GO! I’m so sorry that you were putt through that but I’m so happy that you found your prince.

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Girl, you know us Cancerians. 🦀 We will give you the benefit of the doubt for as long as we can tolerate it. I had to let that joker go, because I began to think some “ungodly thoughts” and it wouldn’t have ended well for him. Trust me when I say that. Like that song R. Kelly sang, “When a Woman’s Fed Up!” Okay! 🎤🎤🎤

        Liked by 1 person

  21. Wow, this is such a powerful and thought-provoking reflection. It’s unfortunate to hear about the challenges you’ve faced in your marriage, where it seems your partner prioritized their career over family.

    The sacrifices and compromises made in a long-term relationship should ideally be balanced and mutually beneficial. It takes two committed individuals to build a strong foundation where both personal and professional aspirations are respected and nurtured.

    It’s disheartening to hear that you were left feeling unsupported when things started looking up. Your resilience and strength in facing these circumstances are truly admirable.

    Thank you for sharing your story; it serves as a reminder to prioritize open communication and mutual support in our relationships.

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    1. Oh no this isn’t about me!!! My husband wouldn’t be here to tell his story.
      I would love to say that I would be able to move on but nope that’s my style. God is still working on me in the aspect.

      But yes communication is key!

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