If Only “Looks” Didn’t Matter

If you had to be honest with yourself and answer this question, what would your answer be?

Does looks matter to you when you’re searching for love?

If yes, how much (10%, 20,% 30%, etc.)?

I truly wish it didn’t matter, but I feel like the majority of us are programmed to base our attraction for someone off of their looks. I wish this wasn’t the case because some “not so” beautiful people on this earth could make for an ideal life partner.

But here’s the thing regardless of how beautiful you may think you are, there is someone out there judging you. Focusing on your exterior and not giving you a chance to show all of you.

The most beautiful people are so because of their souls!

When I take a look at the divorce rate in America, I can’t help but wonder if it could be lowered if we fell in love with someone’s inner light. For instance, we say I’m looking for a soulmate, but yet we aren’t taking the time to learn anyone.

You’re eyes become glued to whatever part of their body you’re lusting after. I’m certain you don’t have superpowers that will allow you to quickly examine that inner jewel.

After being married for almost 20 years, I must say that going for looks and looks alone is the worst thing you can do. Your spouse’s looks aren’t going to pay the bills and pull you out of a tight jam. But their ability to work hard will.

Your new love maybe everything that you dreamed of but are terrible with money, compulsive liar, cheater, gambler, drug addict, alcoholic, child molester, serial killer. The list can go on and on. But my point is you could have possibly passed up the person you were meant to be with because of looks.

Looks fade, wrinkles set in, droopy skin will appear, and God forbid you have a horrible medical scare that changes your appearance. Life happens, and as a result, beauty fades, but a beautiful soul will always be just that.


As long as you handle it with care.

You could have chosen to read any blog, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!



You Know If You Do It Right 40 Could Be The New 20

The other day I was talking to a good friend of mine, and we were discussing weight!

Yes, the topic that all women groan and complain about. You know we all have that ten pounds that we nag about. How I hate the deadly ten. I have to tell you that I laugh every time I ask a new client how much they want to lose. It never fails I either here 30 pounds or the magic 10.

I feel ya for sure!

Then they say I don’t want to look like I did when I was in my 20’s because I fear I’m too old to pull that look off.

When I hear that I immediately say,

“Ummm, excuse me…. please explain”!

They continue to tell me that being that size is for the young girls. They desire to keep there new found hips and curves.

Now that I fully understand. I, too, desire to keep curves as well as well defined muscle tone in my lower and upper body.

So the other day, when my friend and I were talking, we discussed how women looked back in the day when they were our age. I clearly remember thinking that 40 and 50-year-olds were indeed old! They didn’t laugh and joke with their kids. Nor did they engage in a lot of our conversations.

I don’t remember a lot of parents interacting and being overly involved in their kids day to day life.

Furthermore, if memory serves me right, I only saw spunky and in shape older women on T.V. and in Jane Fonda’s workout videos.

It wasn’t until I reached my 30’s and 40’s when I saw women of all ages killing it in the gym. I won’t reveal names, but I saw this lady that had a body to die for and was working out like a beast. A few months after I met her, she told me how old she was, and I almost fell down the stairs.

Beastie was in her 60’s!!!!!

But there were more like her, many more. These women can do things that 20 and 30-year-olds can only dream about doing.

They have made fitness their life. And as a result of that they can hike, dance all night, travel with their kids and take girls’ trips. They engage with their families and have the stamina to do so.

So I figure if they can look as if they are fit and fabulous 20-year-olds, then why can’t I.

Why can’t we keep that trend alive and make a healthy lifestyle become so contagiously delicious that everyone would want it?

After seeing these hot mamas that are in their 50’s and 60’s, I was dedicated more than ever to keep this butt lifted and keeping this tummy flat as possible.

The goal is to help myself as well as others to make healthy food choices and still be able to eat the things you love. Try your hardest to make this a lifestyle and not a quick fix. If you make this a lifestyle, your body will feel empty and lethargic if you don’t do some sort of workout for 45-60 minutes.

After maintaining this new found love, you will be on the road to looking and feeling better than ever.

I don’t know what look you are aiming for, but I’m going straight for my best moments.

Proving to myself that 40 is the new 20!


You could have chosen any blog to read but you chose mine, and I’m honored!


Not Your Grannies Meatballs — Belladonna’s Flashlight


Whenever I think about meatballs, I’m like umm no thanks! They always look so dry. Which is why I hate meatloaf and meatballs are right up there in the same category. Well, they use to be, but now I am in love with meatballs. I was determined to find a way to make a good […]

via Not Your Grannies Meatballs — Belladonna’s Flashlight

I Didn’t Ask To Be Black

Certain things in life chose us. Yet we are treated by many as if we’re given an option. Constantly being judged and thrown in a box with a freakish label. As if I’m less than because I’m not the same as.

When you walk into a restaurant or your favorite pricey retail store, all eyes or on you. Feeling the glare of wonderment blazing off the back of your neck:

“Can they afford to shop here?”

“Do they know how much that cost”?

“I wonder if they know how much the meals are here”?

Truth be told, the prices are just as clear for them as they are for you.

Truth be told, their work ethic is just as phenomenal, if not more so than yours.

Yet time and time again, the affordability factor is based on the color of an individual’s skin and nothing more. Which is totally mindblowing and unquestionably disturbing.

Unfortunately, almost every black person has experienced some sort of racial profiling!

I can only speak for myself when I say that when I visit a higher-end retail store, I’m usually just finishing up brunch or dinner with friends or family in the city. I’m well dressed in heels, manicured toes, and hands. My makeup is on, and my hair is styled, and I’m feeling pretty good, and I still get scowls from the unknown.

By no means does this hurt my feelings or make me feel less than human. In fact, I’m not even remotely angered by the actions of a fool.

I, however, do feel deeply pained for the blatant idiocy of those that ignore the fact that I didn’t ask to black. But will continue to treat me as well as others as if I/we did.

I didn’t ask to be black, but I’m sure proud that I am!

the photo was taken from google

You could have chosen to read any blog, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!



On Saturday, my husband and I went out to enjoy some quiet adult time. We both knew that we were going to go and enjoy at a nice Mexican restaurant.

What’s better than an evening filled with guacamole, salsa, and warm chips. Oh, and a delicious margarita. When we went to order our dinner, we looked for something that we had never tried before. But we couldn’t decide, so the waiter suggested that we try Parrillada.

So glad we did!

I knew that my kids would enjoy this meal, so I recreated the dish on Sunday.

I hope you all enjoy it and please let me know what you think.



Olive Oil

2 packs Chorizo

1 can Green Chiles

3 large Chicken Breasts

2 large Steaks


3 Medium Tomatoes

2 large Green Peppers

2 large Red Peppers

2 large Onions

Black Pepper

Seasoning Salt or Salt

2 (14-ounce packs) Mozzarella

1 can Black Beans

1 can Refried Beans

Sour Cream

Tortilla Shells

Street Tacos



Step By Step 

  1. Season chicken breast and steak
  2. Heat a large skillet with olive oil and cook the meat for 5 minutes on each side
  3. Remove meat from pan and add diced vegetables to the same pan
  4. Remove vegetables and cook the shrimp in yet again the same pan for 3 minutes
  5. Remove shrimp and add chopped chicken, steak, and vegetables back to the pan add taco seasonings and green chiles
  6.  Place on low heat for 15 minutes and cover the pan
  7.  Spoon all of your ingredients into a large casserole dish
  8. Add shrimp on top
  9. Add Mozzarella on top and let stand
  10. Heat a small pan on low heat with a little olive oil and cook the chorizo on low heat and continuously stir for 3 minutes.
  11. Immediately add to the top of the mozzarella
  12. The dish shown above is half Chorizo
  13. Cover and cook in preheated oven for 15 minutes or until the chorizo is fully melted into the chorizo
  14. Look for a golden color, and your dish is bubbly and delicious
  15. Serve with black beans, refried beans, and sour cream
  16. Eat with chips, tortillas, or hard shells.
  17. Great to use street tortillas for small amazing bites


You could have chosen to read any blog, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!





Being Black IS

The best thing that ever happened to me.

I grew up in an area that overlooked black women. I never felt like I was good enough or pretty enough. My hair was different, and the color of my skin stood out like a sore thumb.

When I was in grade school, I was called nigger more times than I can count. The last time that name rolled off of this young ladies tongue, I snapped, and one punch led to about 10. There she was on the ground covering her face as tight as she could, and her knees were pressed tightly against her chest. She laid on her side, screaming for help, and then the principal came rushing to the crowd, pushing past all the spectators. He grabbed me off of her, took us to his office, and suspended us both for three days.

During my time in suspension, I wondered if this was an indication of how the rest of my life would play out. Would I be criticized for the rest of my life because of the color of my skin?

As the years progressed, I often wondered, would I be happier if I was a different race? Would things be more comfortable for me?

No! I would not be happier if I was another race

No! Things would not be easier

I am who I’m supposed to be…..

The color of your skin should not limit your own personal goals and enjoyment in life. Ignorant people are ignorant to everyone and the need for them to make you feel less than is based on their own insecurities.

Stand and refuse to allow your ego to be single-handedly destroyed by an individual that reeks of a dead soul. With closer observation, you’ll find the truth behind spreading racism is due to inadequate exposure to anyone unlike themselves.

Being black is not something that I should have ever been ashamed of, but hiding how black I am is detrimental to my entire existence.

It’s not my job to inform anyone why being black is






But it is my job to feel honored and confident in who I was chosen to be!

You could have chosen to read any blog, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!



Fighting To Stay Fit

Do you feel like you’re fighting to get fit or fighting to stay fit?

If so, you are not alone. Believe it or not, almost 48% of black adults are overweight and battling with there fitness. White adults are closely following at 37% obesity. Hispanics are around 43%, and Asians are trailing at 12% obesity.

When I first started my fitness journey, I wanted to know if I was alone in my walk of obesity. So I searched for answers from my doctor and close friends of mine that are OBGYN’s. They told me that approximately 1 out of 8 women is battling obesity. Read More

The Earth Is Your Stage And I Want You To Dance All Over It

It’s hard to be a woman. Many have tried, and many have failed!

If you want to be a woman of substance and strength, then you have to be willing to put yourself out there and fear nothing! When you walk into the room, you have to own it.

Confidence is how you win. Read More

Dinner For Five Please

So yesterday was Valentine’s Day, and we chose to stay in an celebrate with the kiddos. They are attached to our hip and would have felt left out if my husband and I had gone out to a fancy restaurant without them.

But after dinner, I gave them a heads up and let them know that we will be stepping out alone tomorrow night for dinner and maybe a movie. Read More

Love Is A Risk Worth Taking

We all have a fear of something!

Most of us have several things that make our knees weak and leave us with our anxiety on high. You know the feeling. Your palms are sweating, your heart is beating so hard that you can feel it in your ears.

Right when you think your heart can’t handle another second, you suddenly get light-headed. Then everything becomes a blur. Read More