Posted on by Belladonna

It’s not me, It’s you

So long to the classic game of, Noooooo, it’s not you, It’s me (insert eye roll).

It’s time to reclaim your power and redefine the rules of this game, putting you in the driver’s seat of your relationships!

If someone is getting on your last nerve and you want to end the friendship or love affair, do it and remain honest. Your honesty can be a catalyst for change. Tell them why you no longer wish to engage with them, and hopefully, you will get the same honesty in return.

Look at the honesty thing like this: pointing out the things that make you sick about them will help them in the long run. And if they don’t choose to change their ways, then let’s face it, that’s NOT YOUR PROBLEM!

Not everyone deserves this grace

Not everyone merits an explanation for their removal from your life. These individuals likely understand their shortcomings and their incompatibility with you. They cling on, hoping to re-enter your life at their convenience. But you don’t owe them an explanation. Just let them go.

Classic Ghost

For the individuals that mean little to nothing to your life, give them the Classic Ghosting (The next post will go into detail about how to do this). Ghosting is so rewarding, and zero explanation is needed. Just get away from me and pretend like we never met (I’m so good at this).

Screenshot

The other day, I did another clean sweep on Instagram of the weirdos I used to know. I met them at the gym, and they are all a bunch of backstabbing creeps; I’ve never met any women quite like them. Smile in your face and talk about you like a dog as soon as you leave the room. I saw the four of them bash each other, so I knew they had done the same to me.

Plus, their friendships were on one week and off the next.

My vibe is too high for foolishness, so see ya; oh, and by the way, It was y’all, not me!

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!!

~Belladonna~

24 Replies to “It’s not me, It’s you”

  1. I had to “break up” with a girlfriend because she was sucking me dry. A real energy vampire. I’m trying to remember how I went about it but it’s been many moons. It’s too bad. We had had some good times. Mind you, both of our boyfriends were friends and when we both were no longer with said boyfriends, we kinda didn’t have much reason…

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  2. Pingback: It’s not me, It’s you – Belladonna’s Flashlight | Ned Hamson's Second Line View of the News

  3. Yes, sometimes it is better to keep away from certain people. I must admit that I have also been ghosted, but I don’t know why. Can’t be helped.

    I had one friend who in the end always told me the same things when we met, usually backtalking other people, which I got tired off. And then she had the custom to principally contradict me. I checked that: when she contradicted me on one thing, I would later that evening say the opposite, and, she contradicted me again. 😀 I just never called her again and had never time when she wanted to do something with me. I never told her why, maybe I should have.

    Another was a friend from highschool actually, that hurt a bit, but was inevitable. Everything had always to happen on her conditions. I told her I was tired of it and didn’t want to see her anymore because of it. She could actually see my point but was not able to do better by me next time. So that was that. I had been very patient.

    I have been very lucky with friends in my life otherwise.

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    1. A few bad apples…. Not so bad!!!
      I’m with you, I like to know why I’ve been ghosted but seriously I only wonder for a couple of days and then I don’t give a damn. The ability to let go is a protective feature that I must learned in my childhood.

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  5. So true. It a skill we all need to adopt in these modern times where people can be so fickle. Ironically it actually only a few former colleagues I’ve ever had to really do this kind of thing to. It happened when I left the media site we’d all worked on and I wen’t on to bigger things without them. I genuinely. thought they’d be happy for me to do well but it all got very toxic very quickly – especially their nasty comments online. So I ghosted them out of my life completely and moved on to a thankfully more professional and rewarding environment. It’s sad people can be like that.

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    1. Paul I know you felt so free when you let them go! I’ve learned that the ones that don’t clap for you don’t deserve to be blessed with your presence. Misery loves company.

      So glad you moved on to bigger and better things!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽💪🏽🤩

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  7. Insincere fickle people are the bane of my existence. I like your attitude about protecting your sanity by letting people like that go… far away from you… over there in a dusty corner.

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