Posted on by Belladonna

Never have dinner with an ASS

There are several ways to look like a big ass, and no, I don’t mean in the bodacious type of way. But in the your an ass type of way.

Have you ever had a friend who suggested y’all go to dinner and then proceeded to say, “I’m so hungry and can’t wait to eat?” Only to get to the restaurant, open the menu, and order a salad with grilled salmon.

But that’s not even the worst part!

With the salad, she asked for a lemon for the dressing. But wait, there’s more. She glances over the menu and says, “Do you have beet juice? If not, I’ll take unsweetened hot tea.” 

The whole time she’s ordering, you’re regretting the fact that you’re alive and in the presence of an ass!

As I sat there, watching her delicately pick at her salad, I couldn’t help but entertain a wild hope. I remember glancing up from my boring ass salad and thinking, ‘Please, just start choking on your lettuce.’ It was a mix of frustration and amusement.

She never did, but I kept hope alive!

As she was talking about fitness, I realized the only thing we have in common is working out. Perhaps she thought I was a salad-eating kind of bimbo, which I guess I am—well, not the bimbo part—but I do eat salad for lunch or before dinner, but not for DINNER.

The whole time she was talking, my mind was fixated on the clock. It became increasingly vital that it turn 7:30. She knew I had to be home by 8, and I was 30 minutes away. 

Yes, unbeknownst to me, I drove 30 minutes for a crusty salad. But in the end, I was okay with it. Why? I knew once I left this situation, my husband would be down to grab a ‘real’ dinner with me. The thought of a hearty, satisfying meal was like a beacon of hope in the midst of this salad saga.

I dropped that zero and ran to my hero…later ass!

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

51 Replies to “Never have dinner with an ASS”

  1. Pingback: Never have dinner with an ASS – Belladonna’s Flashlight | Ned Hamson's Second Line View of the News

  3. I don’t quite understand, why did YOU eat a salad???

    I can’t stand fussy people at restaurants. People who ask for items that are not on the menu for example. And sometimes they even harrass the personnel or make a disgusting mess on their plates. People I only go once to a restaurant with.

    But all is well that ends well, a hearty meal with your husband 🙂

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    1. Yeah I figurerd if I ordered what I really wanted she would be done eatingn long before me. And I like to enjoy my food with good company and she bored the hell out of me. So I saved my appetite for good company and good food. LOLOL
      Some folks are not restaurant material.

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  4. Needless to say, ahhhhh WTF and I don’t mean food either! Next time, if there is a next time, order what the hell you want and bump what anyone thinks about what you order. Beet juice? A lemon for salad dressing? Even rabbits don’t eat like that. SMH! 🙄😝😲

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  6. I cringe thinking about that person taking that coffee order at Starbucks that would take a physics grad to remember….I remember going out for dinner with a group I was with, and one of the group demanding that he’d only eat Canadian food – whatever that is – and he was really pissed when I said in that case, let’s go for Chinese, you don’t get more Canadian than that…he went back to his room and order pizza?

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  7. I much prefer making my own salads at home, and I go all out with them! There’s only one place that make salads the way I like them, and I don’t order them for dinner, it’s usually lunch. Lol. Maybe your next experience with her, should you choose to venture out with her again, will be a much better one!

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  12. GIIIIRRRRLLLLLL – I would have been having her look at me crazy as I order a greasy ass burger with fries and a coke!

    I would NOT have drove 30 minutes for a crusty salad.

    Me as she eats her salad: Care for a fry – aka REAL FOOD? lmao.

    Love this. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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