Posted on by Belladonna

The Company You Keep

Says a lot about you.

I’m a people watcher and pray for God to show me who someone is.

I have three children and always advise them to stay clear from people that aren’t coming with genuine intentions. If the friendship feels off, then it is off. If you can’t be yourself, then don’t lose yourself, especially for folks that are only meant to be in your life for a season.

Have you ever found yourself running around with people you knew were bad for you?

 I have, and it was usually because I was bored and looking for a change.

Therefore I went against my better judgment and wasted my time on many fools. I get embarrassed when I sit back and think about how ridiculous these individuals are. And they still are to this very day!

Now it’s one thing to be young or in your early 20s and still learning the process of elimination when it comes to the bad seeds in your life. But if you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s, and up, then you should be slapped. And believe me, I will be first in line to get smacked right in the head.

Story Time About Fools

I was turning 40 when I met a pack of fools. They were a bunch of ladies desperately trying to hang on to their youth. Unfortunately, their actions screamed 15 years old! And here I was, just trying to meet new people, and I had no idea what I had gotten myself into, but very quickly, I learned.

We couldn’t go to dinner or gather for a birthday party without all of their phones being out and taking one picture after another. All I wanted to do was eat, laugh, talk, and enjoy my cocktail. I just wanted a quick little outing without my kids and then come home refreshed and ready to perform all my mommy duties (which never seems to end, and I’m okay with that).

But instead, I ended up venting to my close friends and husband about the night. 

There was always side talk during the night about one another, followed by smiles for the camera. And soon, I became so sick of rolling my eyes and venting I knew I had to change my environment.

And I did just that when I remembered an old saying, “You ain’t no better than the company you keep.”

Sometimes we have to check ourselves and ensure we are in good company. The type of company that is productive, loving, supportive, and intellectually moved.

If you’re hanging around a bunch of fools, don’t be surprised when you start looking and acting like a damn fool yourself.

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

57 Replies to “The Company You Keep”

  5. That was me in and post high school….I was hooked up with, well, bad influences, but not in a good way….thought they were good friends, but weren’t…..I call it my lost 6 years, once I moved away things changed, but I also lost the ability to trust pretty much anyone..I always just expect any new friend to be more of the same….interesting thing though, a lot of people that new me back then, point out, they occasionally wondered what I was thinking? And at least one says she did try to reach out to me then…..I really wish I’d listened….my life has turned out okay since, but those 6 years still have an impact……

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    1. Warren I’m so sorry you feel this way and I hope this changes. People can be so cruel and ignorant and they have no clue what a negative impact they have on people.
      Sometimes people suck!!!

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  7. Very true. When I was high school age, I wanted to be with the popular people so I hung out with them despite a lack of common interests. They stepped over me (I did all the work for a group project and they took it before I could see the final grade) and now I don’t care to be popular – just whether I’m with good people.

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  8. Girlfriend, I don’t know why your post reminds me of the movie, “Get Out!” Toxic relationships…ain’t nobody got time for that! 😜 I think we were on the same wavelength with our topics for today! 😍 And you are so right, be careful of the company you keep! 😲

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  14. A similar saying I’ve always liked is “you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”. Same idea as the quotes you’ve posted above, of course!

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  16. Very interesting post. It’s true that the company we keep does affect ourselves and our life. We should be smart enough to know who’s good and who’s not for us.

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  18. the biggest regret of my life. I left 9th grade some pretty good friends, entered high school and immediately hooked up with a gang in grade 10, following along like a good cult member, the later grades I seemed to end up following the same…I call that time my wasted 4 years, as soon as I ditched them all, life was like the morning after….since, I’ve crossed paths with others I knew in school, and they said they watched what was going on, but had no idea hw to help…..now, some of those are still friends, but yeah, I warned my oldest, and she took the advise, and also told her to always be true to herself, be the engineer, not the caboose…where would I have been now if I hadn’t lost those years?….I’m happy where I am now….but, well, at one point my goal was to become a teacher…..I need a Delorean with a flux capacitor so I can go back to 1977 and slap myself in the face…..

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    1. We need male teachers like you. But you know what it’s never to late!
      I think about my past self and boy do I wish I had did a few things differently but without proper guidance shit happens!!!!
      But we are able to pass knowledge to our kids so we win that way.
      at least for me, I can say that my parents sucked!!!!!!

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      1. my parents were horrible…growing up I heard how much better everyone else was, hockey, baseball, I was never good enough, and strict, which may explain why when I had a little freedom I went a little nuts…..and even now, I’ll tell my dad I did a race, and I get the ‘you didn’t do that’…….I’ve learned to ignore that…they are my folks, and maybe they practised on me, my sister I think fared better…but, well, I’ve moved on

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  19. Pingback: The Company You Keep – Belladonna’s Flashlight | Ned Hamson's Second Line View of the News

  21. Amen to all of that, Bella! Of course it happened to me, mostly with boyfriends, but they didn’t last long. There were only very few female friends that I considered bad for me and got rid of them. Another thing was my first husband. It took me six years before I finally took the steps to get out of that marriage. What a waste of time.

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  22. “Sometimes we have to check ourselves and ensure we are in good company. The type of company that is productive, loving, supportive, and intellectually moved.” Exactly!!! Great post.

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  24. I love your list, “The type of company that is productive, loving, supportive, and intellectually moved.” You are absolutely right. And the times that I’ve found myself running with wrong people were the times I was looking for something in all the wrong places!

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