Posted on by Belladonna

Don’t you dare ask them that!

I swear I feel like punching people in their eyes when they ask me specific questions. But there is one question above all questions that really strikes my nerves. 

Growing up, I spent a lot of time in the church. I was there on Wednesdays, some Saturdays, and all day Sunday. My family and I have been members there since I was around eight years old. So, the ladies that were there watched me grow up.

You would think they would have had enough of asking me the same question over and over, but nope, they obviously did not!

Okay, before I tell you the question, let me explain!

All my life, I’ve been a sweaty human. I’m the type that will sweat three minutes into a workout. I sleep with the air on low in the summer and winter, or else my clothes will be drenched when I wake up.

I hate wearing sweaters and long sleeves because I feel trapped like a wild bear. And yes, you guessed it, sweat will come pouring out of me like hot lava. 

Oh, and did I mention how hairy I am? My arms and legs look like wild animals, which is why I have to shave my legs often. Don’t even get me started on my face. I have the most enormous sideburns of anyone I know. I swear I could grow a full beard if I wanted to, but I DON’T!

Daily writing prompt
What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.
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Anyway, I say all this to say that I’m a hot, sweaty human, so DON’T ASK ME IF I’M COLD! 

The answer will always be NO!

The same church ladies would ask me this every time they saw me, and I would snap.

No, I am not wearing a sweater

No, I’m not wearing pantyhose

No, I’m not wearing tights

No, I’m not wearing a shaw

No, I’m not cold, but y’all are annoying!

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

65 Replies to “Don’t you dare ask them that!”

  1. Haha. And I’m always cold. I’m severely iron-deficient anemic, though.

    I’m also pretty hairy. I rarely sweat, though.

    Older women can truly be a pain. Especially some older church mothers/ladies.

    You do your thing, Bella, and hang in there. 🙏🏾💙

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      1. Yes, I do. I also have the sickle cell trait.

        I legit cannot produce enough iron at all. My levels will never be normal.

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  2. I get that.. questions don’t bother me so much but being talked down to does.. I wrote a post about that very thing a few days ago.. a client that made that mistake after I did work for them…

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      1. Wouldnt be so bad but when i guarantee my work, it means it wont typically go bad. On the other hand theres times I won’t guarantee such as items that may be connected to my work that I didnt touch..

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I hear you on the “Aren’t you cold?” bit when you’re sweating and wanting to yank off that sweater that feels way too close to the body. I was always hot as a kid, and now, as a post menopausal woman, I cannot stand wearing a coat once I’m indoors. Or a sweater, or sweatshirt, or hoodie, or even those new stay-cool athletic pullovers. I have to take them off, no matter how many people cluck their tongues and ask me if I’m not worried about catching a cold. I also keep a small towel in my handbag to wipe the sweat off, it’s sometimes that bad. It’s nice to hear someone else has this problem!

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    1. Oh yessss I feel your pain! I feel like I can’t breathe if I have right sleeves on and the sweat starts pouring. I can only imagine how sweaty I’m going to be during menopause. I think I will carry around a pail 🪣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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  4. I can’t believe that. In your pics you look so cool! One native remedy of profuse sweating is to rub alum on the body parts that perspire a lot. But I don’t know whether that will work in your part of the country given the climate. One good thing about sweating is you lose calories very fast. It shows great strength of character to write this post dear Bella. Women do not usually disclose their physical flaws.

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  9. Thanks for the reminder that we sometimes should keep our mouths shut and our opinion to ourselves. As a very caring person, I might have been one of those “motherly” types to ask that. I’ll keep it zipped now after reading this post! 😁😌

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  11. I tend toward hot over cold too. Interesting… I mean, we both like to work out and I do wonder if our extra muscle keeps us warm? 🤷‍♀️

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  13. The question I hate is: why don’t you have a 2nd child. I have PCOS, not that it’s anyone’s business. But everyone who meets me or knows me as an acquaintance ask me y don’t you have a 2nd child?! I really want one, not that it’s their business, but I answer them with: I don’t know. It’s God’s wish.

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  14. Hello my friend, you are young gorgeous lady, and I say sweat away my friend. To most men, there’s nothing sexier than a beautiful, sweaty young woman. I know what you mean when people ask you questions they’ve got no business asking or they say something that is so stunningly none of their business that you are left with your tongue hanging out just like your little emoji. Take a breath, now I’ll tell you why to take that breath, unfortunately, there are always going to be nasty people in this world that are going to say things they shouldn’t be saying. Maybe you should start singing a hymn every time you’re at church and they start bugging you about being without a sweater or whatever. They are just jealous. Also, remember, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. God knows your heart and that’s all that really matters and it’s a really good one too. Love you, Joni.

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  15. Yeah people ask me if I’m cold all the time, especially this week. It’s 40-45 degrees out and I walk into work without a coat. I’m outside for less than 2 minutes and it’s 10-20 degrees warmer than it has been for the past 3 months.

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  17. Do what makes you comfortable, Belladonna! The question I don’t like being asked, Why don’t you take a cheat day? You can make an exception and have some dessert! Well, it’s not a cheat day. I don’t eat dessert. So what they’re really asking me is why don’t I eat something I don’t normally eat.

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  19. Totally understand where you are coming from Belladonna! My Son and I are the same, I think it must be our Nordic bloodline, we still wear shorts and t-shirt in the UK and people often comment as they walk by…”aren’t you cold??”. Best…Jay 😊

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  24. I am the opposite, always feeling cold. I am the last one to exchange my thick winter jacket with something lighter in spring and put on a headscarf in the car, when my husband turns up the air condition in summer… so, I get the question “Don’t you feel warm?” Haha

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