Posted on by Belladonna

What’s The Hardest Thing To Find?

My advice to all my BEAUTIFUL Moms!

Throughout my life, I have lost countless things. Although some of them have been recovered, many have vanished forever. Looking for something is stressful because you know you probably will never find it.

However, one of the hardest things for me to find has been myself, and I have lost myself more than once.

Motherhood consumes every bit of you, and because of that, we lose ourselves!

Why Do We Lose Ourselves

It’s easy to do but one of the hardest things to recover from, especially if you have more than one child. When you become a mom, you have to put the baby above all. Everything you do should be done in the best interest of your child.

This means the infant and toddler years are the easiest years you will endure. After those years comes the time;

  • You live in your car due to drop off and pick up extracurricular activities
  • Money is flying out the window
  • Shopping for clothes is a continual occurrence
  • Helping with Homework after a long day is a MUST
  • Parent meetings for teachers and coaches are nonstop
  • Weekends belong to whatever sports they are playing

And that’s to name a few key things that are in high demand during the preteen and teen years!

The Best Way To Find Ourselves

Believe me when I say this one thing: Do all you can to stay in tune with your wants and needs. Do not put yourself on the back burner because if you do, you will forget that you are back there and fry yourself to smithereens.

Over the years, I had to look for myself. I forgot all the things I liked to do and what made me feel like me.

The last thing I want any woman to do is forget about you. Yes, we have a lot on our shoulders, but if we aren’t okay, then nothing else will be okay. If you practice self-care straight away after giving birth, then you will continue that for the long haul. And never stop working or doing the things that bring you LIFE.

So, with that being said, the best way to find yourself is NEVER to lose YOU!

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

35 Replies to “What’s The Hardest Thing To Find?”

  1. Pingback: What’s The Hardest Thing To Find? – Belladonna’s Flashlight | Ned Hamson's Second Line View of the News

  2. I think it’s an ongoing process. We do become more involved with our families and lose the sense of self for a while but gradually it is recovered, and sometimes it’s our children who help us be ourselves again

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  4. Great advice Bella! I know all too well what it’s like to lose myself. I have gotten so wrapped up in being a Mother, Wife, and Grandmother that I have forgotten what it feels like to enjoy the things in life that make me happy.

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  5. Maybe this is part of the life cycle. We are born uniquely us. We merge into a relationship, then a family unit and become needed in that way. Suddenly we wonder, “What about me? What do I want?” And we set off to remember the person we were and the things that brought us joy before.

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  7. “Of all the things I lost in life, I miss my mind the most”. True story. I would like to add that losing oneself for the needs of others sets up an expectation that is hard to undo. I was the ultimate martyr. Learned it from my mother. Now that my children are adults, they still ignore my needs. Why not? It’s what I taught them.

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  14. Mother’s are to be celebrated, every day. And with their partners love and support, help them find… out. Even, if they believe they have lost themselves, they can always find a woman’s breathless love, within the depth of your heart, and soul, and it will be there, for eternity!

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