Posted on by Belladonna

Look deeper than the COVER

Being a woman is the most challenging job you will ever have!

We have to say the right things, look a certain way, wear the right hairstyle, carry a human for nine months, give birth, and that’s to name a few. I HATE IT!!!

As a mom of two girls, I refuse to make them conform to social norms. They are not less than if they choose never to have kids or decide to have a surrogate carry their child. DOWHATCHAWANT.

It utterly baffles me when I see a mildly attractive man and a mildly attractive woman and witness the verbal abuse the woman will receive because of her looks, hairstyle, and attire. But the man will attract the attention of many many suiters.

Someone, please explain that to me!

Let me give you a perfect example of the above observation. The other day I watched an NBA game, and there was a particular player who isn’t the most attractive man I’ve seen dribble a basketball, but something told me he doesn’t have a hard time picking up the ladies. So I asked my daughter to google him and see if he had a girlfriend or a wife, and sure enough, he did. And she is GORGEOUS!

You may be thinking, “well, he has money. Therefore, his lady WELL will never be dry”. 

I can’t argue with that. However, women with impressive paychecks are single and regularly judged on their looks. They make a significant difference in this world and hold several degrees from prestigious schools. They have more intelligence in their pinky toe than others in their entire body, yet they are still judged by their hairstyle and looks.

I often wonder when the madness and the harsh imbalanced judgment of women will be over? I know the answer is never. But from one woman to another, I must say we do not need the validation of a man and society to inform us of our beauty or our worth. There is so much more to us than just our cover.

Our real beauty is internal, and we choose who will be blessed to take a glimpse at more than our cover.

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

67 Replies to “Look deeper than the COVER”

  1. Women go through the puberty stage, the childbearing stage, and nobody ever looks at them stage. When a woman gets older, she is considered less than a sexual being. A man can maintain his sexuality into his 80s, but once a woman reaches a certain age, she somehow becomes less than the younger version of herself. She slips into a certain kind of invisibility. I find it somehow comforting.

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    1. I love that you said you find it comforting. Mostly because we as women can put way to much value on what a man thinks of us and it’s time out for that. The only voice or opinion that matters is our own!!!!

      Liked by 3 people

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  6. I understand the fact that women goes through a lot than men, but men also face some challenges too.

    The ‘body shaming’ thing isn’t just about women, it also affects men.

    It depends on how an individual reacts to everything thrown at him/her.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. True! However the bigger a man is (muscle or a little fat) the better he is perceived. A muscular woman is heavily scrutinized by mean and women and if she has a little pouch on her stomach, she can forget. And God forbid if women show any signs of aging.

      Liked by 1 person

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  10. so true , it is important to focus on our own internal beauty and to surround ourselves with people who appreciate us for who we are, not just what we look like.

    Liked by 1 person

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  11. Amen sister…honestly speaking for myself in regards to beauty, I have always found true beauty far more attractive than someone hiding behind a make up mask.

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  14. Don’t forget we have to be perky and have what’s termed as a good personality at the same time we are making less money than an overly aggressive man who is ugly as sin.

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      1. Same here. I was afraid I was too fired up. LOLOL

        Basically, I wrote about how in the 4th grade, our class was discussing the improbability of a female president in our lifetimes. And it was the first time I remember thinking that being a woman is some kind of disadvantage. I was completely floored by this discussion.

        I wrote a little bit more than that, but that’s the gist of it. I look back and still I can’t believe that conversation.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Right? And it was mostly the boys putting forth their opinions. I am the middle of three girls and my dad never, ever made me less than because I was a girl. In fact, he used to say God only gives special people all daughters. 🙂

        Needless to say, I sat at my desk with my mouth open. lol

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Way to often we put looks before everything and avoid some pretty spectacular humans because they don’t meet the beauty standards that are set. And that ticks me off, beauty comes from the inside out. If you ugly on the inside then you’re ugly on the outside!

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  21. we’ve not gone that far from the time when if a women wanted a loan the banker would not give unless a husband (or father) would co-sign. here there’s an ongoing battle to have women’s reproductive rights enshrined in our consititution. still the belief that women aren’t stable enough to make a stable judgement persists?….in the world of endurance sports, like Ironman Triathlons and Ultramarathon, women can be as strong and as swift as a man…and over and over again as smart…and some are able to be just as feeble as men….the days should be history that the weaker gender become a fictional term…..

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  22. Deeper, who can see deep into the undiscovered beauty, within the pages of her soul? A heart, willing see beyond the lines, flip more than just the eyes, read past the surface. To uncover, what no cover of a book can articulate, the undeniable nuances of a woman’s worth. Her quintessence, her quiet beauty, her syllables; the words, tethered by her heart and soul. Blessings to you!

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  23. You have raised an important issue. In my side, old people used to say that beauty of girls and qualities of boys are important, but no longer, qualities are paramount for both, not look.

    Liked by 1 person

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  24. You have said it Bella! A very BIG thumbs up to you for writing this post. Am with you. Its in every society. I remember reading so many books describing the heroine as she was not only beautiful but also had brains as if to say that was something rarest of rare for a woman.

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