Posted on by Belladonna

What’s the best Christmas gift you can give yourself?

It’s Vulnerability for me!

StoryTime!

A few months ago, I wrote a post about being open to being vulnerable. It ain’t easy, but in certain areas of our life, it’s very much necessary. 

You can’t be a hard ass all your life, or you just might be a lonely; ass!

About two years ago, I stopped talking to my best friend. I was going through a few issues that literally swept me off my feet, and I needed her to be by my side, but stubborn me didn’t want to tell her that I needed her.

I desperately wanted her to say, I’ll be on the next plane to be with you, but why would she say that when I gave off the illusion that everything was fine? 

I never skipped a bit in my life and was always on top of my kids’ schedules. Never once did I show that I was lacking the strength that I usually have. She called me a few times, and I ignored the call. She waited a couple of weeks and called again. She eventually gave up because I completely distanced myself.

Not one day went by that I didn’t think about her. When I had good news, she was the first person I wanted to share it with. When I had terrible news, she was the sounding board that I needed.

Over the two years, I picked up the phone and put it right back down because I didn’t want to be vulnerable and talk about “feelings.”…YUCK!

You can’t put all women in the same box and say, “We all like to talk about our feelings,” because I beg to differ. I’m learning to dig into it a bit more, but I have a long way to go. And so does my best friend, which is why we’re besties because we are sooooooo much alike.

A month ago, my phone rang; I looked to see who it was, and when I saw her name, my heart began to race, and I stood there looking at my phone. In my head, I was saying, “ANSWER THE PHONE, ANSWER THE PHONE, ANSWER THE PHONE. 

But I couldn’t. If I did, I would fall to pieces, and I was fearful of what she was going to say to me. So, we decided to text instead.

And then, a week later, I was working, and I heard my phone ring. There, her name was flashing before my eyes. I picked up the phone and…

See ya tomorrow for part two!

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

39 Replies to “What’s the best Christmas gift you can give yourself?”

  1. I get that. Sometimes I’m more vulnerable than others but as todays post demonstrates, sometimes I feel like there’s some things I don’t want to or can’t talk about. And sometimes…I overshare! Lol

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  2. Honеstly, I’d sаy іt’s thе gіft of sеlf-compаssіon аnd growth. Wе oftеn gеt cаught up іn thе holіdаy frеnzy, strеssіng аbout fіndіng thе pеrfеct prеsеnts for othеrs. But thіs yеаr, I’m mаkіng а conscіous еffort to bе kіndеr to mysеlf. I’vе rеаlіzеd thаt thе bеst gіft іs іnvеstіng іn my wеll-bеіng—mеntаlly, еmotіonаlly, аnd mаybе еvеn spіrіtuаlly. It’s аbout tаkіng а stеp bаck, аpprеcіаtіng thе journеy so fаr, аnd sеttіng іntеntіons for thе futurе. Whеthеr іt’s pіckіng up а nеw hobby, fіnаlly stаrtіng thаt workout routіnе, or еvеn just gіvіng mysеlf а brеаk to bіngе-wаtch somе guіlty plеаsurе shows, I’m mаkіng іt а poіnt to prіorіtіzе my hаppіnеss. So, hеrе’s to unwrаppіng thе gіft of sеlf-lovе аnd growth thіs Chrіstmаs, bеcаusе, lеt’s fаcе іt, I’m thе onе pеrson I’ll bе stuck wіth for thе rеst of my lіfе. Mіght аs wеll mаkе thаt rеlаtіonshіp thе bеst іt cаn bе, rіght? Chееrs to а Mеrry Mе Chrіstmаs! 🎁✨😊

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  3. Ugh!!! Why are you making us wait until tomorrow?! Lawd, help!

    My best friend and I didn’t speak for 3 years, and it’s not because I’m not vulnerable. I’m one of the most vulnerable people in my group of peers. It’s because at that time, she was into some other things and other people and it felt like I was just being used to keep her dogs for her or house-sit when she had to go out of the country/state for work.

    We had a huge argument and stopped talking. After 3 years, my other best friend at the time, pretty much said to me it had been long enough and I needed to reach out to her, and that week, she reached out to me and said, “We’ve known each other for too long and have loved each other for even longer, we can’t keep doing this. We need to talk.”

    And we did. And we’ve been stronger and better since then. I had to relearn her and she had to relearn me, but I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

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    1. Girl that gave me chills!!!!!! Those are the friends that are family!
      Sometimes we are definitely on some different stuff and need to break away if we don’t feel appreciated or misused. I’m so happy it worked for y’all!

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  5. The things we do to ourselves. I was estranged from my best friend and I never knew why. And I never will because she died with things unanswered.
    Don’t do it. Misplaced pride is not worth it.

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