Posted on by Belladonna

I Woke Up Different

I can’t explain it….. I just woke up different.

Going to bed with a heavy heart and mourning over folks that don’t love you is a complete waste of time. You can’t make people love you or even like you. So why even try? Let that mess go and live your life the best way you can. I refuse to sit here and wonder why people that should love me and have my back DON’T and never did.

I have to laugh because it seems like for a lifetime that bothered me, and I sought out answers, and my rock (my husband) told me to stop. He said, look at everything you have around you and all the people that love you for you and wouldn’t change one thing about you. 

A light bulb went off when he said that, and I instantly threw a funeral for all those lonely souls that lost my respect and love. I even made a little speech for the burial.

To all those who have taken up space in my already filled to the rim life

To all those who want to blame everyone but yourself.

To all those who like to screenshot my photos and talk about it

But most of all, to those that talk a big talk and are silenced in my presence.

 I gave you all enough of my time, and you are no longer living rent-free in my mind.

It is unbelievable how much peace and joy you have when you focus on your business and surround yourself with love. It took me almost 38 years to realize that love should be easy. Love is not combative. Love is not talking about you as soon as you leave the room.

For years I kept to myself because I didn’t trust anyone. I did, as I still do, put all my energy into my kids and my husband. My household is number one, and I refuse to have my children grow up and wonder what trust and love is. 

Believe me…they know. 

I took a mental note for quite some time and did the opposite of everything I saw. I’m not saying my household is perfect, but it is built out of respect, LOYALTY, and TRUST. My husband doesn’t have to wonder if I am faithful, and neither do I. My kids know that WE will support and encourage them in everything they do. My daughters know that their education is just as important as my son’s education. 

College isn’t based on gender (why do I even need to say that).

Quick question. Why would you allow chaos and ignorance to come back into your peaceful and joyful life?

Can you give yourself one good solid answer to that? I can’t.

Find some way to ignore and erase confusion. Take yourself out of an insignificant, meaningless equation and live.Simplifying your life is the best gift that you can give to yourself.

I wish I could explain in more precise terms how I reached this freedom, but I can’t. I just woke up different!

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored.

~Belladonna ~

33 Replies to “I Woke Up Different”

    1. It took a whole lot of healing to get here. You’ll fully get there. I made a promise to myself that I would do my best to enjoy the rest of my life and that meant I had to stop caring about insignificant mess!

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  3. You post reminds me of two quotes that are in my soon to be published book and they ate:

    “Friendship is more valuable than all Ships.” _-Van Prince

    “You can be most sure of anything except People.”_-Van Prince
    *Post Script*=This post is Amazing!

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  7. This beautiful, bold and clear! I relate to everything you say – it is me who had to awaken from the slumber of what love really is. Focus on what is present, prioritizing my wellbeing, not crowding my mind space with people, their stories, expectations, chances given – oh what noise. I choose peace, love, joy, gratitude, contentment 💛 you said it all perfectly.

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  11. A huge weight off your back So encouraging to witness your strength and support that you have and that you finally shed and woke up differently. It’s so true what is said. In the light of an epiphany all of a sudden the weight is gone and the only thought that is left, just briefly, why did I carry this with me for so long.
    Blessings to you, hubby and the children.

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      1. Blushes profusely, so sorry, lost myself briefly, ….blush blush blush…yes👊👌…..blush blush blush.
        Have a lovely sleep and weekend.
        I’m going to tuck myself back into bed.

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