Posted on by Belladonna

Divorce seems to be the answer

It’s been over 20 years of marriage, and just like that, It’s over……..finished!

Can you imagine being married for over 20 years, and then out of the blue, your husband leaves you for his high school sweetheart? 

No matter where I go, I’m able to connect with strangers, and by the end of our conversation, we are no longer strangers.

I was standing in the checkout line at the grocery store. I didn’t have many groceries, but I had more than the lady behind me. She carried delicious crusty bread that would be amazing for french toast and she had a small bag of Guatemalan coffee. So I told her to go ahead of me. I could see the sadness in her eyes, and I know how a kind gesture can turn my day around, so I was hoping that I could do that for her. 

Her eyes opened wider, followed by a sad smile. As she checked out, she began to tell me her story, and as we walked outside, the reason for her sad eyes became clear. 

She was fresh out of coffee and needed that one thing to help push her day in a positive direction. The taste of that particular coffee gave her the strength she needed to help her 18-year-old daughter deal with her depression which is getting worse. 

She lays in the bed, staring silently at her ceiling, barely eating, and refuses to finish her senior year of high school. Her heart is broken, and her trust in her father shattered her world. One day everything was perfect, then he went to his High School reunion, fell in love with his high school sweetheart, packed up everything he owned, and moved to a brand new house with his new love.

After 26 years of marriage, he chose his High School sweetheart and left two kids and his wife behind. Now she’s doing her best to help her daughter deal with her depression; helping her son figure out his way in high school and on top of all that she’s facing financial hardships. She had a part-time job while her kids were in school, and her husband brought home most of the money…. until he didn’t.

So now here she is, 50 years young and trying to figure out her new life. She didn’t choose to get a divorce. She didn’t choose for her husband to lock eyes with his high school sweetheart at a reunion that she was too busy to attend. She didn’t choose for her husband to leave her. But now, she’s forced to make all the hard decisions so that she and the children can be okay.

As I talked with her outside the grocery store;

She cried

I cried

We prayed together

I didn’t know if she was religious or if she believed in God, but I do, so I did what I do best. I pray in hard times, good times, sad times, and joyful times. I grabbed her hands, and we prayed through our tears and into our joy.

She grabbed me, hugged me, and said, “I’m so sorry for pouring all this out to you, but I felt your energy, and I couldn’t resist.”

I don’t even know her name 

but I felt her pain

Her eyes were full of shame

From an asshole that lacks a soul

Checking his feelings is the way to the source not Divorce

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

64 Replies to “Divorce seems to be the answer”

    1. Thank you for praying for her. You could see the hurt in her face and actions. Made me furious and Tom think of her daughter suffering because of him and he is bouncing on like the only thing that matters is his new girlfriend. I just can’t even imagine.

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  2. Oh Belladonna, this is such an all too familiar story we hear from women in particular, but still this tugs at your heartstrings for the pain and embarrassment that “Married my H.S. Sweetheart of an Asshole” dumped on her and his children. 😡 For the life of me, I don’t get it. People never think their actions do not have serious consequences and that includes how much it affects your loved ones.

    Sistah, you were in the right place at the right time. Your compassion and gentle spirit was all God needed for you to minister to this lady. God bless her and her children. And may God pour his abundant blessings over you too. I’m so with you about my prayer mantra everyday. This helps to empower us so we can pay attention, listen to that still small voice, and use our power of discernment to respond accordingly. You did just that and I KNOW that made her day…and yours! 🌞

    Great job girlfriend. So proud of you! Thank you for sharing this heartwarming encounter with us. 🥰💖🤗🌺😘🌟😍💋🙏🏼

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    1. Thank you Kim🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
      I hope I run into her again and learn that she and her kids are doing well. I told her he will come running back to you when the park of his new flings dies out. And when he does oust on some Steele toe boots and kick the shit out of him 🤣🤣
      She laughed so hard and said I’m looking forward to that day. Revenge is sweet!!!!

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    1. Tre the look in her eyes broke me and then when she told me about her daughter I was done. Everyone is posting about their graduates and her daughter has tong onto summer school in order to receive her diploma. And all because of her dad.

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  5. Oh, Bella! You are such a beacon for those who are hurting! You know know how much I admire you for this! 💖💐🌹I know you made her day and you restored some faith in her! I pray for this woman and her children! 🙏🙏🙏God bless them! And God bless you, Bella! 🙌

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  11. Random people tell me things out of the blue, but nothing this profound. You were a wonderful listener– and no doubt helped this woman feel heard and loved. Her story, though– wow! I cannot imagine.

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    1. This has happened throughout my entire life and I love it. Over the years I have heard stories that make me fall to pieces and this one was definitely up there. Makes me so furious that people can be so selfish!

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  13. Wow I can’t even imagine what it must be like to be in her shoes but I’m glad you were there for her to talk to. Sometimes being kind to someone can make a huge difference in their life.

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  15. You are such a beautiful person. You went out of your way to help her and shared her pain by listening to her painful story. This could melt anyone’s heart. I will pray for her to get over her shock and emerge stronger for the sake of her children. 🌹🌹🌹🌹♥️♥️♥️♥️

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  18. Wow, how powerful! That is a beautiful story and one I hope to share with other divorced women who understand my situation one day. It can be so isolating, and for that woman to know she’s not alone could be life changing! 💕

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    1. Absolutely right!!!!!! How long have you been divorced?
      It’s so important to know we aren’t alone when dealing with tough situations.
      Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting, I appreciate you so much!💗💗💗

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  20. It seems to happen a lot, i mean i went to my 20th and saw quite a bit of hook ups. SMH it happens I guess. I mean I got tackled in the parking lot the first night and wasnt expecting it, but i didn’t cheat. Was just some one I hadnt seen in 20 years, kinda freaked me out. We grew up together since head start and she moved away. I was more embarrassed than anything else, crazy side was everyone in the bar heard it as she yelled my name as she tackled me. I can see things like this happen often and the crazy side is that it happens at funerals and visitations more often than not as well. When i left, i know mine was cheating, my daughter told me how the boyfriend stayed with then in the hotel when they was supposed to be at the hospital with the oldest step daughter 2 hours away. I tried, i gave my all for that extra 3 years when I took her back after running off with this same guy. It broke me in ways no one should be broken, she turned my son against me as well the same week and when i told her I loved her she threw it in my face saying “yeah right” and got in the jeep and threw rocks as she drove off… I left that weekend, took what I could fit in my car and me and my 12 yr old daughter slept in my car that night until i could arrange someplace for us to be that next day. It is what it is now because its in the past, but doesn’t mean the scars arnt still there.. so if anyone else is going through this, pick your head back up, you matter and you will get through it.

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  24. Men are such selfish fools, don’t know to truly appreciate what they have. How heartless can you be, to promise for better or worse, only to deviate the hearts, of the ones you claim to love! She needed that moment, and God her a Belladonna!

    My wife has been ill, in and out of the hospital, still recovering from a stroke. I’ve been her caregiver for years, and this May will be 36 years married. And struggle has never been, giving her the best of my love!

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