Posted on by Belladonna

Anger Can Hold You Hostage

We all have choices!

So, who are we to blame others for the choices we made?

It never ceases to amaze me how often people are looking for someone to be the bad guy, and push blame onto them. It takes maturity to accept blame and wisdom to change for the better.

Two Paths

The way I see it, we can either admit that we made a choice that caused us to take a thorny path, The path that looks like we will never leave the dark tunnel. Or we can choose to look for a scapegoat in hopes that we can remove the sense of failure from ourselves.

Scapegoat

Choosing a scapegoat is the easiest way to go, Slimy, yes, but it’s easy to make someone else responsible for your problem. If you do this, then you make it easy on yourself and never have to take time out to change. You can remain comfortable and quite possibly play a victim.

Own your choices

This choice is the hardest but damn it, it’s the most rewarding. When you own your bad choice, you get to experience self-growth and are able to watch your life blossom into something that looks like a dream. 

Storytime

I’ve chosen both routes, and I realized that selecting the scapegoat route only felt suitable for a short period of time. Pointing my finger at someone else didn’t help me accomplish any goals that I had laid out; in fact, I moved further from them because anger held me hostage.

It wasn’t until I let go of my anger that I was able to look at myself in the mirror and have the most challenging conversation with the person who needed to accept the blame. During that conversation, I forgave myself and began to take the steps necessary to become the person that I thought was long gone.

When you let go of anger, you break the chains that were used to hold you hostage.

Free yourself and make better choices!

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

59 Replies to “Anger Can Hold You Hostage”

  1. I so often find that anger is a reaction – the first emotion that arises – but typically it masks something else – frustration, disappointment, powerlessness. It helps to define it more clearly. Such a tough one to deal with.

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  5. Wow. I love the way you focused this blog on personal choices. Nobody wants to admit they made mistakes, but that is an important element is self-growth.

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  9. Oh, Belladonna, I was having a wonderful day until you made me fall and realize how many bad decisions I’ve made today. C’mon you tricked me, right? Ha, ha, I’m sorry I couldn’t resist. Of course, I’m kidding. You are so right, owning our choices is so much more productive. When I take blame out of the picture, when it’s less finger pointing, I find that I may not always make the right choice, but I instead focus on making the right decision in that moment. Great post!

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  10. Wow! Great advise! When i deel anger, needs to be alone and something that help me
    a lot is carve the tiles. I am silent and when realize it, just forget my anger and also happy to see what i have washed shining. Crazy? Yes, but things like that help me, time of alone, cleanning.
    After that inhale and exhale… Thank´s for share dear Belladonna.

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  13. Another take on owning it. So good, Belladonna. And even in situations not entirely of our own making, we can own our parts in order to move on. There isn’t anything as self-limiting as playing the victim – even when we have been wronged.

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  14. It’s true, we all have choices in life, and it’s essential to take responsibility for the choices we make. Blaming others for our own decisions is counterproductive and prevents personal growth. It takes maturity and wisdom to accept blame and use it as an opportunity to change for the better.

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  16. Fabulous take on ownership Belladonna! Acknowledging our responsibility when the outcome of our decisions is not what we expected, but even more so, the element of anger and how that can blind us. Brilliant. Hugs, C

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  19. Guuurrrrrlllll, take them shackles off my feet! 👣 The chains of anger aren’t holding me hostage no mo’. One thing I have learned, that anger leads to bitterness, and I don’t do bitterness, because it’s not a good look on me! Word! 🤜🏼🤛🏼

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