Posted on by Belladonna

Do you LOVE all yours kids equally

First child

Middle child

Last child

and any you may have in between…

Do you treat them all the same? 

Do you love them equally?

About six or seven months ago, after dinner, my family and I went for a swim. It was such a beautiful night, and the air was so soothing. Finally, a light breeze calmed over the trees after a hot hot day. So we took the time to enjoy the night.

After a 90 degree day, the pool was precisely what my sore body needed. My husband and I talked as we swam freely in the pool. My mind was clear and felt alive. I had accomplished everything on my to-do list and was able to break it into my list for tomorrow.

Then here comes my youngest floating up un her large tube, and out of nowhere, she says, “Mom, do you have a favorite kid”?

Without hesitation, I immediately said, “No, you all get on my nerves equally.” We laughed, and then I was curious why she asked me this. So I asked her…

“Do you think I do”?

She said, “not at all; I feel like you love us and treat us all the same.”

I explained to her that I depend on all three of you differently. There are certain things that I expect out of each of you. The best way I can explain it is like this…

Here’s an analogy for all of my Superhero fans

 To kill Thanos, it took Spiderman, the Avengers, The Guardian of Galaxies, Dr. Strange, Black Panther, Scarlett Witch, Black Widow, Antman, Hawkeye, Korg, and Nick Fury, to defeat Thanos.

They were all intricate factors, and no one’s role was more significant than the other!

This is how I view my household—all of us coming together, therefore allowing us to feed off each other’s attributes. When one wins, we all win. We’re in this together….Real parents master the art spreading LOVE equally!

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

54 Replies to “Do you LOVE all yours kids equally”

  6. Awww Belladonna, what a mom you are. I think my mom loved all of us, but differently. She knew we had a different makeup albeit the same DNA. But even with twins their makeup is different even though they are twins. Showing your children unconditional love, well my dear I would definitely say that you are a Superhero Mom! 🐱‍🏍🙀🐱‍👤

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  14. I used to tell myself and them that I did but what I realized by trial and error was our relationship dynamics changed as they became more maturely independent. When this occurred I notice I returned a tad more than they were giving back to me. I also realized I was more lenient and understanding with younger ones, causing a dynamic imbalance that was recompensed by being more trusting of the elder ones and those who were more responsible and or actions that matched with their promised words. The short answer… I’m sure I didn’t but I can hope they overcame my failing but earnest efforts to be fair and equal anyways.

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    1. I love your honest answer and I respect you for it. It’s so important that we try our best, we will fall short at times but atleast we can acknowledge that and try harder to correct. I understand the age and maturity difference and some kids give more than others.

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  15. This exact subject was the last thing on the news last night before bed. I was a bit disturbed by the negative comments from so called professionals, wondering if they were even actual parents.
    I love & appreciate how you summed it up! My children are 7 years apart, and both have much to contribute & know I love them for there role as a team.
    Great share & happy mother’s day!

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  16. Kel – I would say “yes” and “no”. Like you said kids are very different on from another. Love of the same intensity but truly in a different form, changing as their needs do. My 13yo son with autism I’m very hands on with the “you can”, “let me show you/tell you how this goes”, and cheerleading now from afar as his independence grows. My almost 16yo lil lady is the time and curating settings so I can listen to and “see” what she’s thinking/feeling and help her embrace how amazing and capable she is. Love is all the time and sometimes it’s form is affection or correction BUT it’s always there — all the time! 😘 ~ Love you Sis

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    1. This is beautiful Angela! You are such a beautiful person, inside and out! Your love and care shows in how you just smile while looking at your kids. I don’t even think you realize that you are doing so.
      Thank you for sharing this! Love you💖

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  17. every so often I will tell my children that we just kept having kids until we had one we liked…..but yeah all I guess equally…I used to have staff like that….five 20 something young women…they were amazing, I drove myself nuts trying to make sure I didn’t treat any of them better than the others…made sure they had about the same number of hours….because omg if one thought I thought any of them were the best co-workers /employees ever, I’d get like that look of death….

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