Posted on by Belladonna

How Many Friends Do You Have?

Don’t include your total count of friends on FB!

We all know that number means nothing. Half of the people on there are not your friends, and if you saw them on the street, you probably wouldn’t speak to them. Now I have to say this: I recently went on a binge and tossed out folks that didn’t need to see pictures of my kids. Besides sharing jokes on FB, from time to time, I share updates about my kiddos.

With that being said, I still only have a hand full of friends that I genuinely connect with. I know the majority of my “friends” roll their eyes when they see my pictures. But oh well, unfriend me. I post for all my close friends and relatives.

It’s fascinating to me to see how many people look for companionship outside of their homes. That is, if they are married with children. I would assume sitting at home alone wouldn’t be ideal for those who don’t have either.

I recently asked three questions to 30 different people, 15 men, and 15 women.

1st QUESTION ~ How many close friends do you have?

 ~Average answer~

Men ~ 1-2 close friends

Women 2-4 close friends

2nd QUESTION ~ How many friends should you keep in your circle?

~Average Answer~

Men~ 2

Women~ 4

3rd QUESTION ~  Is it hard for you to meet new friends?

~Average Answer~

Men~ No

Women~ Yes

I would love for all of you to weigh in with your answer to have a final discussion tomorrow. I’m excited about digging deeper into this topic because I’m conflicted about how many friends are blatantly too many.

If you are a needy friend, you have to go, but what if they are fun and a good time is always had with them?

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

47 Replies to “How Many Friends Do You Have?”

  2. Great post, Bella! And you’re so right about the total FB friends meaning nothing. Half of them are only there to be nosey. LOL On a lighter note, my circle of friends is small and I have about 4, maybe 5. It’s just the way I like it. We meet people every day. However, I have to feel people out first. The hard part is that friendships take a lot of time to build and it involves weeding out people who make you feel bad about yourself and who are only there to use and abuse. Only time tells you who are and who aren’t friends. Thank you so much for this powerful post!

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  4. Fascinating post, Belladonna! I am excited to see the results! I choose to keep only a few people really close to me; it’s really always been that way. It is too much work otherwise, furthermore, I am less interested today in the drama that can surround a larger social network. ❤

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  5. I’m also very excited to see the outcomes of this survey.
    You know what, there is always that one person who is everybody’s friend, it’s just like that. Some people just have this great big personality that can contain a variety of people and friends in their lives and they genuinely have that kind of energy to make you feel genuinely like you are constantly special in their lives. And I’m absolutely in awe of that kind of stamina for friendship.
    So I’m holding my breath for the results to come out.

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      7. Yes I like what you say. Those personalities can be handed down from one generation to the next
        Like a skill or a craft. One should do more study into those personalities.

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  6. Ok….I have 3 besties from college who don’t live near me but I text all the time. Two good friends who live near me. Then I have acquaintances, neighbors and book club and tea society friends….but I don’t share with them…

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  7. Great topic!
    I believe most of us realize the difference between friends and “friends” somewhere around 30. (A conversation recently had with my 28-year-old baby sister) With too many, substance is usually lacking.
    With that said, I am nearly 40 and any friends who could not understand my needing a night in, or those who felt slighted by a great catch-up every few months, are not really in my life any longer (other than on FB😉)

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    1. Good for you!!!! I just did a similar thing. I’m not someone who has to be on the go nor do I Ike it. So I had to start saying no to everything so those certain individuals would either stop asking and accept it or leave me alone.

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  8. I recently had an issue with a close friend (friendship was 20 years!). It caused me to cut ties with her. At first, after my anger settled, it was difficult. She was the first person I would call when I last minute suddenly had free time as well as for planned events, and I questioned if I should forgive her and make amends, but I just couldn’t, the damage she caused was done. After time I realized that I, myself was better off without the friendship. Closely examining the relationship made me realize that I gave everything and she gave nothing, it was just convenience. It’s hard to come to that end tho.

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    1. Wow just wow!!! I just went through that. It hurts when you come to the realization that your friend meant more to you than you did to her. Stay strong and always remember why you had to walk away from the friendship 💕

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  9. I think all too many people define themselves by whether they have friends, how many, and whether any are close. There were times in my life (mostly before graduation and during college) when I seemed to make friends easily, but looking back, I can’t honestly say they were “close” friends, though we might have considered them so at the time. **I think my uncle said it best: If you find one really good (or best) friend, someone you enjoy doing things with, you are very fortunate. This was a strong, and helpful man, and he was always true to his family.

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    1. Your Grandfather indeed said it best. I believe that as well. I feel that very strong people don’t need a large number of people around them. They have nothing to prove by the quantity. Thank you so much for stopping by and I hope to see you here again.

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  10. I find myself constantly evolving as a new person myself and hence connect with new people going through similar phases continually. At a given time I feel 2 to 3 friends is the number that I connect with deep authenticity – cumulatively I feel blessed to have a number of friends that we honor each other’s journeys and don’t need to stay in touch regularly to feel connected yet loop back to regard or cheer for each other consistently as and when. I hope I made sense 🙂

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  11. Pingback: Please Participate In The Poll (How Many friends Do You Have) – Belladonna’s Flashlight

  12. Hmmm… Is it better to have two friends or five? Some people share how many Facebook friends. One shared he had over a thousand. I guess he felt really good about himself.

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  13. Is it that we feel good because we think we have a lot of friends, or because we’re honest within and maybe have one or two real friends?

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  14. True. The happiest, or most at ease with themselves, people I know are those who don’t “need” a lot of friends. They are the same with many, few, one, or none: always the same honest person.

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