Posted on by Belladonna

What’s In a Name

To hell with it!

Those were my thoughts after contemplating keeping my maiden name.

When my husband asked me to marry him, I thought, okay, this is good, I can do this, but his last name was not my favorite, So keeping my name became the topic of conversation. 
His last name and my last name are both so long, and the thought of hyphenating them seemed ridiculous. So I thought about this until our wedding, and reluctantly I decided to take his name. However, I was convinced that was the right decision after we had our first child.

The Talk

Y’all, it was hot and heavy in our house until I became completely comfortable with my last name. We even discussed my husband taking my name (his idea). He told me that his name doesn’t mean much to him and it would be our family that made his name mean something.
A light bulb went off when he said that to me, and peace came over me!
I have no idea where my last name comes from, and I don’t know much about my father, so the sense of urgency to keep my name served little to no purpose. But in my heart, I wanted it to serve a purpose.

Daily writing prompt
Where did your name come from?
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However, the truth of the matter is I have zero knowledge as to who my dad’s father is or where our name derives from. , I was fighting for something I was used to, and my husband respected that so much that he was willing to toss his name aside. 

I couldn’t allow him to do that, especially as I grew closer and closer to his grandfather. He was a beautiful man and was more like a father to my husband. Our children loved him and looked forward to his many visits. When he would visit, he would stay for a week or so, and during each visit, I became more and more determined to carry on his name.

My husband has his grandfather’s charm, sense of humor, kindness, and intelligence. So when I think about what our last name means, those are the words I think of, which makes me confident that I made the right choice.

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

62 Replies to “What’s In a Name”

  2. Listen I didn’t know which way you were going with this, But when the email came through and said to hell with it, I was like click. I was sad when I gave up my last name. My old last name was also a first name for some people. People always would comment on it. But I didn’t have my dad’s last name. My mom remarried and changed her name. So really I was just a little island. Now I have the same last name as tons and tons and tons of other people.

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  3. my last name kind of ends…when my paternal grandparents entered, well, the US at Ellis Island their Ukrainian name was changed for them….i have no idea what it was originally..yep it sound german, but even ancestry.com can help me…there are a few folks that have my last name that I’m not related to..not sure where that came from, but pretty much we are family, I can’t even spell my mom’s parent’s last name, they entered N America one at a time through Nova Scotia…grandfather came first after sneeking out of Russia, came here worked any job he could find, found someone he could trust to get money back to my grandmother, she did the same thing…alone, n a ship….and they then traveled west with nothing….whenever I hear their story I wonder, could I do that?…..nope

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    1. Wow!!!! what a rich and fasinating history! Thank you for sharing that.
      Yeah I’m with you, I don’t know if I could do that either. Geesh!
      I came anyone with my husbands last name but there aare some questionable creatures with my last name.Well to be honest I can count on one hand how many ar stand up citizens.

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  4. Aww! Your story is very romantic… The way you speak to your husband let us feel the love that both have each other… That makes me happy! Thank’s for share it!
    Have a wonderful day exactly like your post!
    Blessings!

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  7. The name change is such a big change. I refused to change my name with my first marriage, even after 3 children. With my current husband it was easier, I simply added his name to mine. 💕

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    1. BTW – I think it’s so sweet that you had such a great connection with your husbands grandfather and that he influenced your decision to change your name. That’s wonderful.💕

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      1. Thank you Grace! He was such a great guy and reminded me so much of my mom’s, father.
        Knowing him changed my mind and made me proud to be related to him. We miss him so much!

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  8. I would have had no name also if it hadn’t been for the man who married my mom and adopted me. My sire left us both, then tried to come back after I was born, but Mom refused. Enter my dad, the only dad I’ve ever known. I was a Robicheaux until I got married and now I’m a Smyth. ☺️ My dad wasn’t offended when I foolishly blurted out that I’d be happy when I no longer had to deal with my last name. It was long, hard for most people to spell or pronounce, but at the time, I didn’t realize the significance of him giving me his name. And shame on me because now, even though my name is short and more common, people still pronounce it wrong all the time. That’s karma I guess! But Dad knows I loved him and what he did for me. I told him countless times how much I loved him and was proud to be his daughter. ❤️

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    1. That is so sweet!!!! And I’m sure he chalked it up to hhis daughter being draamaatic like we are most of the time.LOL
      How amazing he was to adopt you, more men like him PLEASE.
      People are so funnyy when it comes to pronouncing names.

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  9. I tried to have a hyphenated last name and that lasted a couple of years. In the end it was too much bother to tell/spell both names to people, deal with the annoyed looks, and live a simple life. I went with his last name because it’s shorter and easier to spell. No more meaning than that.

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  10. This is a beautiful story, and it sounds like you and your husband made the right decision. How much he loves you that he was willing to put his name aside when you had concerns. 🤍🌺

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  11. Interesting reflection Belladonna. 🤔 After my first marriage I went back to my maiden name and it stayed that way for 11 years. But after I remarried, I contemplated on keeping my surname as my last name, but I added my current married name at the end. So now, my name flows with both, and the both of us are comfortable with that. 😉

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  13. Gosh, it was 40 years ago, I don’t remember really thinking about not taking Larry’s name. Later, when I noticed people using the maiden as their middle I thought that would have been nice. I’m good with my name, I’ve had it longer than my birth name now. Hugs, C

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  16. We are not even allowed to take our husband’s last name in Quebec! It’s illegal since 1981. How do you like them apples? (And would have solved your dilemna.) When it comes to children, we can chose either parent’s last name or hyphenate (which is a royal pain and makes for some looooong last names).

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  18. Loved your write up. Brought back a memory of my own. Whats in the name… oh what is it if not a symbol of belonging… and Now that I am starting a new life, a new family, I would like to do so by taking up the husband’s name, so as to mark that we belong together. So, we have a similar tradition in the part of India that I belong to but not from where my husband comes. About to be married and pretty sure of what I wanted with my name, I insisted on the name change while the marriage was getting registered. Also got goosebumps and butterflies when I received the certificate. The butterflies were diverse though. I was happy to see my husband’s name next to mine. However, I also felt like something was amiss. The name which had stayed with me since birth, which had a lot of history to it, which was my identity, had a part of my pa and my family where my ancestors secured it because of their service to the society. The lineage that I was a part of. Which fit well with my profession, , which was my identity. Most importantly, just because I was to be married didnt mean I was losing out on my own dear fam, I was only gaining another. And the best part was that this is exactly the argument my husband had for me when I told him i wanted to change my name in the first place. He never wanted me to go ahead with it. All is well that ends well. I was back to my maiden name almost immediately and happily so, also to great happiness of my dear daddy. ♥️

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  20. My mother gave me her last name which came from her father- Lawrence. My father’s father was a full blooded Native American. I know my father’s last name, there is nothing wrong with it, but I am glad my mother gave me her last name.

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