Stumbling Through My 40's
Her day was all about meetings and schedule more for the next day. She continually tries to stay two steps ahead of her male coworkers. If she doesn’t, they will notice and quickly confront her and their VP of her downfalls. She regularly feels that she is being watched, and everyone is waiting for her to make one questionable move. So far, they have nothing to see but the back of her ass as she climbs the corporate ladder. Read More
The Day I Fell In Love “Part 2”
Let’s talk about that day.
I was 22 with a chip on my shoulder and mad at the world because I felt like the world was mad at me. I had a temper and a right and left hook that refused to back down to anyone. I was out looking for trouble, which wasn’t hard to find because I knew where to look.
The truth of the matter is I only joined the military because I wanted to be taught how to defend myself if I were to be attacked by 2 or more persons at once. I wanted to be able to shoot a target in any location I desired on the first shot. My sergeants’ had to pull me off the shooting range. Read More
I welcome everyone new to Belladonna’s Flashlight and for everyone else, Thank you for staying! I hope you enjoy being apart of the fam and will continue to read and join in on discussions. I love hearing from you all. Read More
You Can’t Rescue The Boy In The Man “Part 1”
There he lay in his bed, waiting for the sunlight to come through his window. The sun gave him hope and security. Nothing terrible ever happened to him when the sun was out, at least not yet.
Prayer will take you a long way! Right, when you think about giving up God will grab you up and hold you tight and show you why you shouldn’t.
I’m listening to God and I believe in his power.
I hope you all let God be God and direct you on the right path.
You could have chosen to read any blog but you chose mine and I’m honored.
~Belladonna~
All she can feel is the weight of the world on her shoulders and the breath of temptation breathing heavy on her neck. She can feel the sun beating down on her skin scorching every part of her that’s exposed. When she rises, everything goes black, Read More
I wonder if I change my deposition would you choose to be by my side? It’s been so long since you chose me. Thinking back I don’t think you ever have. I longed for you to and I think for a second I imagined you did. My imagination ran away from me and formed a picture that I longed to see.
October 1st is one of my favorite days of the year because that’s the day that I became a mom. Some may argue and say that the day you found out about the baby is the big day and welcomed you into parenthood. I disagree. When you look into those eyes and see them looking back at you and feel their tiny hand grip your finger… that’s when you become a parent. Things are about to get real. Your life is no longer your life. Everything you do should be in the best interest of your baby. Your needs, wants and desires are put on the back burner and if you don’t like the way that sounds then please don’t have anymore.
My other two favorite days are February 10th and September 29th. We welcomed two more beautiful babies in the world and boy did we have to level up. As a woman, I was shocked at how much time I had to put in every single day. When they were all small I would put them down for a nap or just tell them to lay and rest for 30 minutes. While they were doing that I would just stare at the wall. Don’t even think I blinked for at least 10 of those minutes. Most days I was a tired and delusional soul.
I remember when Makenzie was born, Elijah was in kindergarten and he never wanted to do his homework. He cried and threw a fit every day and every day I had to threaten his life. Here I was waking up 3 times in the middle of the night with my newborn baby, and then as soon as she was cozy in my arms the alarm clock that I wanted to throw out the window would sound off. I would stumble downstairs and fix breakfast, comb hair and make sure my energetic son and mild-mannered daughter were ready to hit the car for drop off. I don’t know why I didn’t let them ride the bus back then. By the time I reached the house, it was time to feed Makenzie and get started on my routine.
Every growing day I lost a little piece of me. I don’t think I realized it until I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself. Yes, I gained weight but it was more than the weight. It was more than what I saw it was what I didn’t see. That beam of light and determination was gone. I made sure there was light in everyone in my household and felled to see mine was gone. It’s hard for me to describe this discovery without getting drawn back into that painful moment. I made sure that I ran my household with little flaws and that took every bit of me. I left nothing in my pot and almost lost my own identity. All of a sudden I was Elijah’s wife, Samantha’s mom, Elijah’s Mom, and Makenzie’s mom. At that moment all I wanted to be was KELLI.
At this moment and forever more that’s who I am first…KELLI
Refusing to lose me!
You could have chosen to read any blog but you chose mine and I’m honored!
~Belladonna~
Yes, I know It’s Saturday and you want a rest day. But this is the day that counts the most. I know that you had a full week of work and hopefully you did some type of workout every day. However, every positive action that you took towards becoming a better you can and will be undone by the choices you make today.
So many of us choose to make Saturday our day to have a cheat meal, which is totally okay if you stick to only one meal. Don’t turn that cheat meal into a cheat day. often times we will start the day off with an unhealthy option and from that moment on our body and mind will crave more sugar. So let’s start off right.
For instance, when you wake up have a healthy breakfast and then WORKOUT. When you return home to have a protein shake make this the time to throw a few greens in the blender so that you are getting your daily vitamin intake. Lastly, don’t forget to continue to DRINK WATER. I tend to stick with drink half of my body weight and if I am working out in the warm weather then I will increase my consumption.
Now here we are at dinner and you are probably ready to consume some major calories. But guess what? I guarantee that due to the wise choices that you made previously you will not eat as much as you wanted to. The body is a funny machine. Mentally you are wanting everything that you gave up during the week but your body isn’t craving or missing the calories. So listen to your body and not that hungry mind.
Make this day count and continue to make healthy choices!
Below you will find links for healthy meal options.
Breakfast https://wordpress.com/posts/belladonnasflashlight.com
Lunch https://wordpress.com/post/belladonnasflashlight.com/1042
You could have chosen to read any blog but you chose mine and I’m honored!
~Belladonna~
