Do You See Me

All we want is to be seen and heard. You may not agree with everything we are saying and that’s okay just acknowledge that fact that we are here. Some so many ladies will go through their entire life and not know what it’s like to be listened to. As well as being left to wonder if they are being seen or looked over. Yeah, you have said the L word but what does that mean without putting actions behind it.

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Will You Ride The Bus With Me

Lots of people want to ride with you in your Limo but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when your Limo breaks down.

~Oprah Winfrey~

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I Thought I Lost You

The largeness of something depends on the angle from which we view it...

October 1st is one of my favorite days of the year because that’s the day that I became a mom. Some may argue and say that the day you found out about the baby is the big day and welcomed you into parenthood. I disagree. When you look into those eyes and see them looking back at you and feel their tiny hand grip your finger… that’s when you become a parent. Things are about to get real. Your life is no longer your life. Everything you do should be in the best interest of your baby. Your needs, wants and desires are put on the back burner and if you don’t like the way that sounds then please don’t have anymore.

My other two favorite days are February 10th and September 29th. We welcomed two more beautiful babies in the world and boy did we have to level up. As a woman, I was shocked at how much time I had to put in every single day. When they were all small I would put them down for a nap or just tell them to lay and rest for 30 minutes. While they were doing that I would just stare at the wall. Don’t even think I blinked for at least 10 of those minutes. Most days I was a tired and delusional soul.

I remember when Makenzie was born, Elijah was in kindergarten and he never wanted to do his homework. He cried and threw a fit every day and every day I had to threaten his life. Here I was waking up 3 times in the middle of the night with my newborn baby, and then as soon as she was cozy in my arms the alarm clock that I wanted to throw out the window would sound off. I would stumble downstairs and fix breakfast, comb hair and make sure my energetic son and mild-mannered daughter were ready to hit the car for drop off. I don’t know why I didn’t let them ride the bus back then. By the time I reached the house, it was time to feed Makenzie and get started on my routine.

Every growing day I lost a little piece of me. I don’t think I realized it until I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself. Yes, I gained weight but it was more than the weight. It was more than what I saw it was what I didn’t see. That beam of light and determination was gone. I made sure there was light in everyone in my household and felled to see mine was gone. It’s hard for me to describe this discovery without getting drawn back into that painful moment. I made sure that I ran my household with little flaws and that took every bit of me. I left nothing in my pot and almost lost my own identity. All of a sudden I was Elijah’s wife, Samantha’s mom, Elijah’s Mom, and Makenzie’s mom. At that moment all I wanted to be was KELLI.

At this moment and forever more that’s who I am first…KELLI

Refusing to lose me!

You could have chosen to read any blog but you chose mine and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

 

 

 

 

 

My Favorite Thing About Me

I LOVE to laugh and I need to be around others that like to loosen up and enjoy a joke. There is nothing worse than taking yourself so serious. Life can be so amazing if you are willing to LAUGH.

So let’s get started, I want everyone to share one thing about them that will make everyone laugh. I’ll go first. Watch the video below and you’ll get the idea of what I want you to share.

Happy people have more fun!

You could have chosen any blog to read but you chose mine and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

 

 

The Truth Will Set You Free But First It’ll Piss You Off

“The truth will set you free but first it’ll piss you off”. No truer words have ever been spoken. The truth will sting your soul and crush your thought process if you aren’t willing to receive it. I know that the truth is a hard pill to swallow but if growth is what you are looking for then you have to take the truth pill.

I mean think about it. How many times do we have to bump our heads and fall before we take a sit and listen to constructive criticism? How often do we have to set ourselves back 10 steps because we refused to take advice? Then when we fail, we look to those same folks for a hand or an ear. I don’t know about you but I’m so over listening to nonsense.

I have been a part of the health and fitness industry since the day I took the oath to protect and serve my country. So please believe me when I tell you I have heard every excuse in the book when it comes to fitness journeys. But the truth is if you want a healthy lifestyle bad enough you will do whatever it takes to achieve it, to win it and to own it.

The truth is you have to eat right, you have to work out, and you have to change your mindset. There aren’t any short cuts and there isn’t an easy way out. You have to stop looking for a quick fix and you have to be willing to hear the truth. No matter how painful it is to hear what you have to do to get from A to B, you have to listen and be willing to execute.

I have had the truth hit me in the stomach like a ton of bricks. Did I like it? Hell no! It pissed me off because it hurt. It hurt my pride and for short while my self-esteem. But in the end, the truth saved my life and I will never forget that moment.

Here I am in the summer of 1994, I thought I was prepared for the military, my eating and work out habits were amazing. I felt like I was gaining strength internally as well as externally. But to my surprise, I had an abundant amount to improve on.

My first week in the military my drill sergeants did not hesitate to tell me that they thought I was weak. My heart dropped when they told me that. But they weren’t done. I was told that I wouldn’t last because I couldn’t do more than 4 push-ups in a row, I didn’t stand up for myself against some of the other soldiers in my platoon I was to quiet and I hid behind everyone else. Try swallowing that!

They pissed me off because the truth tore me up. Here I am 18 years old in South Carolina all by myself and receiving truths about me that I didn’t want to hear. I couldn’t run from it, I had to deal with it. And That’s just what I did. When the lights went out at 2100 hours I was up doing pushups, holding my planks and mentally connecting with myself. By the end of boot camp I dared anyone to even think about giving me a cross look. I was still quiet because that’s just who I am. I’m more of a listener than a talker. That’s just something that can’t be changed by my courage can and was.

Because I was able to accept the truth I became a platoon leader, push-up queen, and one badass motha…shut yo mouth.

I’ll never forget Drill Sergeant Henry and Drill Sergeant Jellen. They saved me, by exposing strength that I didn’t know I had. I allowed their truth to piss me off so that I could gain my freedom!

Is it time for you to get pissed off?

You could have chosen any blog to read but you chose mine and I’m honored.

~Belladonna~