Let’s talk about it!
You can blame whomever or whatever you like, but the bottom line is “BODY SHAMING” exists. Our society is hooked on eye candy. You will be shamed if you don’t fit the ideal body standards.
The other day, I talked with a woman I met years ago; she told me her husband left her because she didn’t fit his new image. His upward mobility in the world inspired him to start lifting weights and running in the morning, and he even began dabbling in hot yoga.
She noticed he made dental appointments and now has teeth so white she barely recognized him!
He expressed his concern about her extra weight and told her she should stop blaming the kids for the excess weight. In his mind, enough is enough; time to lose weight. And so she began her journey.
But it was too late; her husband had moved on to a woman who has the complete package. Those were his actual words. But what he didn’t realize is the wife he left was going through changes within herself that she couldn’t control. Her issues prevented her from losing weight as quickly as the asshole she married.
Her body didn’t change only from having children. She was now dealing with the side effects of having a hysterectomy (click here to read more about hysterectomies and how your body will change). It would be a pleasure to say that her husband is the only jerk who looks at the exterior and then body shames, but we all know he is one of millions who participates in this ignorant behavior.
On social media and in real life, people are diminishing others’ value because they are either too thin, fat, have too big of a butt, no butt at all, and so on.
Whatever the case, body shaming is childish behavior being conducted by grown people who should know better. To look at someone and think it’s your God-given right to body shame them is deplorable.
We need to do better and understand that if we don’t have something nice to say, then choose to say NOTHING!
You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!
~Belladonna~
Timely…I just did a Facebook live post on that…understanding that those track athletes, male and female, get to that start line not always based on ability, but also if they’re marketable or not….I believe that’s all changing as more and more athletes, female athletes of all shapes and sizes are now winning without sacrificing, but yep….
I bet that was a great live! Do you eveerggo live on Instagram? If so, I would love tocheck it out. I was watching the females college basketball game and it blew my mind that so many people were talking aboout how they aree built. They are taller and some are more musculalr than the average female. But they can’t help that! Really pisses me off.
I sure hope things change quickly
I can’t remember the sprinter’s name from Africa that was yes stronger and quicker because of a larger amount of testosterone in her system…I’m not sure about her being told she had to use beta blockers or whatever, but it’s biology, people having to look like some standard to sell shoes or whatever is wrong..
Until companies change the players will be more inclined to go this route. No matter the side effects!
It’s horrible. I try never to body shame or even looks shame about clothing choices or tattoos or whatever. It’s not MY business, and I have plenty of my own areas to improve upon!
That’s exactly how I feel Paula! I have my own stuff to deal with so I leave everyone else alone. LOL
People who body shame are incredibly shallow and it always shows. Hope the woman whose husband left finds a man who loves every inch of her ❤️
Me too!!! She is a wonderful person and working hard for her.
I told her be strong and stick to your guns because he will be crawling back.
You know he will!
For sure!
Yes he will
Not to be mean but I hope he does regret this in a major way one day.
You are right
This took me back to plenty of fish dating site..when i was blatantly told by multiple shallow women that one would ever date a fat 3 like you.
*no one
That really ticks me off! But I bet they are still on there looking for thier person while you are happily married. People with narrow minds never prosper.
You are probably right
Shallow folks never win in the end!
What a horrible thing to say to another person.
Truly, but soon after tbis experience I met my wife and we have been married 10/together 13 years going strong. My wife is also 12 years younger and we are each others 10’s 😁
Good for y’all!!! Glad you brushed that off and knew their opinion means nothing.
So glad to hear this!
It really is!
He’s not alone in this vein by far. There are a ton of fellow assholes out there with the same narrow view of things. What a dope.
Huge dope and i hope h elives to regret this mistake. Karma is REAL!!!
When his little girlfriend runs out with some better deal, this dope can rest assured it will be too late for apologies.
Now that’s Karma! You get what you dish out.
Right
Yes! LOL
That is a sad story – a reality around us and for so many women like the one you share. I agree with you – Beautiful isn’t a size, it is an attitude towards ourselves and others.
It makes me so sad when people fall victim to this treatment. Yes indeed, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. I hope you’re having a great week so far!
“But it was too late; her husband had moved on to a woman who has the complete package.”
He’d left her mentally well before this. *Shrugs* Her not being able to lose weight in his timing was just an excuse.
*Sighs* I hope she recognizes her beauty and her worth without him. 🥺
Absolutely, but be a man about it and stand on your truth. Such a coward move to put it back on her when he knows he was ready for someone new.
She is a great person and doing life! So proud of her.
Amen. You’re right. I’m glad she’s doing well!
People can be a mess. His new relationship is built off a lies and a mess.
So true “Beautiful isn’t a size”. I find that people who participate in body shaming are usually SUPER insecure. Great post, Belladonna.💕
You are soooo right!! They are insecure. Thank you so much Grace 💖💖💖💖
My pleasure 💕
“Our society is hooked on eye candy.” So true and sad! Great post Belladonna.
What if the table was reversed and he was on the losing side; he wouldn’t have liked it at all!
Exactly! It’s easier being the one that’s dishing out rudeness.
👍🏼
Not sure what is wrong with some people. I had this acquaintance who constantly called his small sized female friends fat because their belly bulged out a little bit. He said they needed to lose weight to completely flatten out their belly.
Oh yuck what a loser! I hope they didn’t listen to this jerk!
I’m almost certain that this “man” will regret his decision in the future. Only time can tell. There are so many other reasons that a woman has a hard time losing weight.. reasons that are almost out of her control (hormones, etc.). Beauty is beyond skin-deep. I hope the woman has moved on and found someone who loves her for who she is.
Yes Jea there are many reasons and as you age the reasons increase. He will definitely regret this one day.
She is so happy being rid of him and working on herself for herself!
Thank you so much for stopping by!!!!
This is such an important topic to talk about. It’s unfortunate that body shaming still exists in our society, and it’s even sadder when it happens within our own relationships. It’s important to understand that people’s bodies are constantly changing due to various reasons, and it’s not fair to shame them for something they have no control over. We need to learn to love and accept people for who they are and not judge them based on their physical appearance. Let’s choose kindness and empathy over body shaming. Thank you for bringing awareness to this issue.
On another note, I recently wrote a blog post on body positivity and self-love. It would mean a lot if you could read it and share your thoughts on it. Thank you!
You are spot on Noe!! Yes I will definitely go to your blog this week.
I have listened to several powerful podcasts about this topic lately. Thank you for adding your thoughts to the conversation. My word of the year is Embodiment. And this is yet another reason why!
I”m so glad people are talking about this. I’m hoping more people become proud of what they look like. confidence is a game changer!
Embodiment, Love it!!!!
I’ve never understood it, it’s what’s within that matters.
I couldn’t agree more!
Such a sad story, and it happens all too often. The older I get, the more comfortable I am in my own body. The only modifications I care to make are for my health more than my appearance. I try to convey to my wife that I love her as she is now. I don’t expect her to look like she did 37+ years ago.
Yes Jeff! We all change and that’s a good thing. I know your wife is beyond grateful to hear you say that. Congratulations on being together so long, what a blessing!
Body shaming has become such an important topic that needs concern. It is affecting people on daily basis.. we should be less judgemental for other and also just encourage people to accept themselves as they are…
Absolutely!!! Thanking you for sharing your wise words.
No worries bella dona . May I know where are you from
Well, they say kilos is not the measure of beauty 😍
You got that right!!!
Guuurrrrllll, if that joker like so many others, be it men or women would encourage instead of giving an ultimatum, tben people will feel more confident, and you would contribute to their growth potential not shame them for what the don’t currently have. Yes, grown behind people should know better, but that little cutie who this dude decided to lay up with is about lust not genuine love. 😡 If that little hot number starts to decline he will move on. If the tables are turned and it is him for whatever reasons heads down the slippery slope on the receiving end of body shaming, then he gets exactly what he deserves! ‘Nuff said! 🤨
Girl, I hope Karma gets his ass! He left her broken but she’s putting herself together and feeling better than ever. He thought he was on top of the world with his new career. And yes you are so right, it is ALL LUST!!!!!
Sistah you got that right and yes ma’am karma is a bitch and he ain’t seen nothing yet. It’s coming, oh honey it’s coming.! 🤨
I will applaud when karma bites him I this shallow ass.
👏🏼🤣😝😂👏🏼
LOLOLOL
Love this! Our value is so much more than our appearance. What matters is how we treat others and feel about ourselves.
Exactly! A great personality an good heart trumps everything else.
I read a post on Reddit about how a guy cheated on his wife because she gained weight during pregnancy and hadn’t lost all of it yet. However, as soon as they got a divorce she lost weight and was healthier than ever. It turned out he was holding her back from living her best life because he never did anything around the house and she was always too busy cleaning up after him to take care of herself. Your story reminded me of that post. Anyway, you’re so right. Body shaming is definitely a thing and people are so fixated on the “perfect” body type without realising “perfect” is unachievable. It’s gotten to a point where people just want to be thin or gain weight instead of wanting to be healthy.
That guy is such a jerl! That’s a darn shame that she had to put her selfcare on the back burner so she could care for this loser. Yes your story that you shared is so similar.
Yeah, the post was actually from him and about how he missed her. You can imagine how Reddit tore him a new one in the comments lol.
Oh I know they did!! Job well done! LOLOLOLOL
So true
I agree in toto that body shaming is a childish behavior. Well said, Belladonna!
Thank you KK, it sure is!
I totally agree.
There were some who considered me to be too skinny. And I said to myself “Too skinny for who?”
I love myself and my body- whoever else doesn’t it is their problem not mine!♥️
Yep not thier body, not thier concern! Be you!
🧸🧸♥️♥️
Good one my friend
In 1983 I was in the best shape of my life sade a trainer from a gym. I even won an award of dedication at a community center that year as well. In 1992 I had a near death experience, because of health issues. The medicines I was prescribed made me go from 135 pounds to 300 pounds. People treated me different. Today I exercise for mobility only, and to stay functional. I see exercise as a must. Not as a vehicle to look beautiful to anyone else.
I am so sorry that you had a near death experience, praise God you are here with us now. It’s a sad shaame how wwe treat people because of weight. I hope you know that you are perfect just the wayy you are. You are right exercise should be used for much more than looks!
Thank you for sharing!
Agreed
Thank you!
Body shaming is a serious issue that has been plaguing our society for far too long. It can have devastating effects on the mental health of individuals, as it did with my best friend.
My best friend was always so confident and outgoing, but when she started to get body shamed by her peers at school, everything changed. She became withdrawn and depressed, eventually leading to her taking her own life.
It’s heartbreaking to think about how much pain she must have gone through before making such an irreversible decision. I wish I could go back in time and tell her that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes – no matter what anyone else says or thinks – and that she should never let anyone make her feel less than who she truly is.
I hope this story serves as a reminder for everyone out there: be kind to one another; you never know what someone might be going through behind closed doors. Let’s put an end to body shaming once and for all!
Oh no! I am so sorry about your friend. That is so heartbreaking. I bet she was perfect in every way. It doesn’t matter what others think.
Sorry