Two the hard way

Rumor has it.

Are we all drawn in by those words?

Do we all secretly like gossip?

I like the scoop or tea just as much as the next guy, but I don’t want to be a part of “spreading news.” Here’s the thing, I learned a long time ago that if you open your mouth to the wrong person, you may be crucified. Not only crucified for the things you said, but you better believe that your words will be passed along in an exaggerated form.

Two the hard way

In a world far away and what seems like a lifetime ago. I was hung for a rumor that I didn’t start. Then two years after that, the rumor queen struck again. The second time it happened, I vowed never to co-sign on anyone’s words.

It doesn’t matter who you are (my husband and kids excluded); my mouth will forever be shut. 

It’s horrible that you can’t be yourself and laugh and joke with family members. They are supposed to be your safe place. And it’s awful when they show you they are just as conniving as the next person. 

This one person convinced multiple people that I was indeed the rumor starter. Even though. my character should have spoken for itself. I lay all the cards on the table, and I’m upfront. In fact, I pride myself on how honest I am. But here I was for a second time, learning a hard lesson.

How stupid could I have been to trust this SAME person yet again?

I knew damn well that if I talked to her one-on-one, my words would be twisted. They would be distorted, in fact, to the point that I would never recognize our conversation.

That was the final straw

From that point on, I nod, maybe giggle, but no one will ever have the chance to say they heard a rumor, gossip, or the tea from me.

Oh well! It is what it is, and I learned; Two, the hard way, but I learned!

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!


36 Replies to “Two the hard way”

  1. I’m trying to remember what someone told me about this, because I’m still dealing with this, someone who only sees things as she sees them, and no matter how many times you try to correct her, her nonsense, rumors, and gossip still comes from her….and it’s something she uses to further an agenda…I just now ignore and walk away…..

  2. I absolutely agree, Belladonna. If someone is talking to you about someone else, believe me, they will talk to someone else about you. It’s like the saying goes, we have two ears and one mouth for a reason.💕

    1. They God they only have one mouth! LOL
      I couldn’t even imagine them with two flappers.
      And you are so right I know they are talking about me in the worse way!

  3. “How stupid could I have been to trust this SAME person yet again.” You’re not stupid, you just choose to trust. It’s a hard life never trusting folks, we all fall into these traps some times. Let’s be up front with where the fault lies: the person who chose to burn you!

  4. Mums the word girlfriend. 🤐😶🤐 Honey, we live and we learn, and we learn some more! SMH! 😞 When someone shows you their true colors, don’t try repainting them! 😝

      1. Girl, I don’t know what I am going to do with you! 🤣😝😂 Just dump the entire gallon, the color of your choosing on them, then light up a cigarette, push your hair back and say, “This house is clean,” like Tangina from Poltergeist! And that’s how the fight got started! 😱

      2. Honey, especially when she set those clothes on fire, lit a cigarette and kept it moving! 🤣😜😂 Angela Bassett is definitely a true gorgeous badass of our time! 🙆🏽‍♀️💁🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️

  5. So much heartache could be avoided if those types of people weren’t in our lives. Unfortunately, there will always be one or more who teach us never to trust them again.

  6. Two the hard way – what a great title and hard lesson. Ally Bean sent me and I’m glad she did.

    I was listening to a Buddhist teacher the other day and he was saying that there is value in gossip when we are with a trusted person and we are essentially trying to figure out who someone is or why they are acting that way. And that resonates with me for illuminating conversations with others.

    So that makes me think about why your friend did this to you twice. Jealousy? Competition? Or the one that I’ve run into so often – someone who values being known for being in the know more than she values being a safe friend.

    Whatever it is – two the hard way. Great lesson and post. Thanks, Belladonna!

    1. Awwwww thank you for dropping by 😍😍😍😍😍 so appreciative of Ally and thank you for the warm compliments.

      I like that perspective about gossip!
      I really think she loves being in know and ready to lie and fabricate no matter the cost.
      Thank you so much😍

  7. I have things about gossip. I read a book and said that gossip is actually good. This was from a highly acclaimed book stating that gossip is integral to social connection and well being. I admit I did not like reading this. Secondly, I was once out to dinner with other moms from school. I talked about an article I read that day, stating that a large number of women have affairs with personal trainers. What I didn’t know was that one of the mom’s was having an affair with her personal trainer. A little gossip would have helped

  8. I love this post, Belladonna. It reminds me of the Socrates quote, “Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.” Though we can all get caught up in gossip, it serves no purpose except to cause drama no one needs. Happy weekend, my friend! 💖

  9. I’m so sorry for your repeated experience. I’ve had a similar problem with a few family members. It’s so painful to realize that someone is more interested in looking good, being the favorite, or making you look bad, then in being in a honest and loving relationship with you. I can’t seem to remember. I flub up over and over again. But maybe those people aren’t worth getting worked up about? I’m just going to be myself in every situation and if someone chooses to smear me so they can feel good about themselves so be it. I know my tribe and I know my nemesis. Not everyone is going to like me. Good. By the way, I like you, hugs, C

    1. Ams oh how I like you to Cheryl!! So glad you had a great trip😍
      People you trust really gets ya right in the heart but we live and we learn but most of all we survive through it all.

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