This post is my personal opinion!
When you give birth to your kids, there are certain things you want them to know about life. You can choose to tiptoe around subjects or come correct and direct.
I don’t know how to tiptoe, not around feelings or my words. However, I will only give my opinion once you ask for it. If you don’t ask, I will politely mind my business and look the other way. However, if you’re my child, then you don’t have to request my opinion; momma will give it.
In this family, we are open and will share the good, the bad, and the ugly. Then we either laugh about the situation or take steps to fix it.
In this world, many uncontrollable variables will come at you, leaving you flabbergasted and questioning your whole life. So with that being said, you don’t need to add the stress of a relationship into your young life. When you’re a teenager, you can barely handle your own emotions, and then adding another unstable teenager into the equation is usually a horrible idea.
You can’t HANDLE a relationship
I remember being in high school and seeing girls sitting by their locker, crying like crazy goofs. I’m talking about tears running down their face, barely talking or eating, and having trouble seeing life without this little boy that broke their heart.
When you entered the school, you didn’t know who would be ready to jump off a cliff that day!
Then, the happy couple would be back together the next day or later that afternoon, and the sun is shining bright again for them. Well, for now, it is; give it a couple of days, and the world will have zero meaning.
I was a teenager with a broken heart before, I might not have cried at my locker for others to see, but I did it in my room. Life could not get any worse than it already was. My focus would be on this pencil-neck boy, not my schoolwork or sports.
Now that I’m grown, I look back and think he was not only unattractive but also a freakin weirdo. I didn’t have anyone to tell me; dating at 15, 16, 17, and 18 was foolish, and my main focus should be on me!
When it comes to my kids, dating is off the table. But, of course, you can have your little crushes; that’s normal and part of life. However, what we aren’t going to do is glorify having a boyfriend or girlfriend in high school. My husband and I wanted them to have fun being a kid and not be tied down to anyone.
Yahavetherestofyourlifeforthat! (All one word)
Many will argue the point, “Well, you dated while being a teen, so why shouldn’t your kids.”
My response is; Your damn right I did, and that’s what makes me an expert on the subject and adamant about them not making the same mistakes I did. I know better; therefore, I want them to do better.
Listen, you can’t prevent heartbreak, it’s going to happen, and it should. But just like every situation in life, the older you are, the wiser you will become. And with wisdom comes the mental strength to handle difficult situations.
Be a kid, kid!
You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!
58 Replies to “Too Young To Date”
Personally, I agree but I just know that the chances are sooo unlikely.
I know! My oldest two made it through high school without dating and I feel they are wiser and more more comfortable in their skin. So less chance of them to seek validation from a mixed up teen. One more to go!
Good luck!!! 😉
I was also firm with my sons during their adolescent years. But I had to let go of control when they became young adults. You have to trust us to do the right thing, they told me. So, with a heavy heart, I did. It has not been easy to watch them make poor choices. But, with each mistake, they learn. And they both know that I am here to help them to get on their feet again.
Yes you’re a good mom!!!! I agree we doo have to let go and let them make mistakes but I refuse to do that in HIgh School. Crushes are okay but full on love affair is a tough one for me.
We allowed our 16 yr old daughter to date the boy who’s had an affection for her for years. They have been dating for about six months now, and they rarely argue because their personalities and values are almost the same. It’s been a good experience for my daughter and it’s part of growing up.
Unfortunately I thought it would be nice for my daughters to date in high school. They were much prettier and more popular than I was, so they had lots of opportunities. I thought it was part of teenage fun. I was wrong. It was bad for both of them, and I would advise any parent to discourage it as much as possible. Luckily, they are fine now ❤️❤️
I am with ya Paula! High school dating can consume way too much time. There is always too many tears, waste of time, heartbreak and focus being put on being connected with someone, instead of having fun with friends and being a carefree kid. There has been two suicides at my kids high school because of a break up.
I’m so happy your girls recovered and are doing wonderfully now.
Thank you ❤️
So glad your kids are good with this. That’s wonderful, Belladonna . Keep up the good work.💕🙏💕
Me too Grace, they haave seen so many people crying aandd walking around like zombies after a heart break and they both have said I’m too busy for all that sadness. Thank you Grace, I just want them to be old enough to handle the pressures of a relationship.
Totally get it. They seem to have great heads on Thor shoulders. Good on you, Belladonna. That’s awesome. 💕
WoW!! Agree with you, being comfortable in our own skin… Very important!
Intuitin it´s the clue for many things. Thank’s Belladonna.
I agree Elvira intuition is definitely a clue for many things. Thank you so much for reading, I love reading your comments.
Aww! Thank’s to you dear.
Always a pleasure. You are so kind.
Gurrrlllll Belladonna…TRUTH! 😲 Nooooo, not the Pencil-Neck Boy! And noooooo, not the “Yahavetherestofyourlifeforthat!” Girl Belladonna, momma go ahead and give your advice. You earned it! 🤜🏼🤛🏼
Thanks sis!!! And yessss pencil neck 🤣🤣🤣
This is a sane advice my friend. I hope kids are listening
Thank you Sadje! They did listen and now they are in college and ready to dip their toes in the dating pool.
That’s good Belladonna. Good job.
I dated while in high school. I wasn’t allowed so I dated in secret. I had strict parents. My boyfriend was a positive influence, though. We were both honor roll students with part time jobs.
Oh that’s good and very rare! How did it workout?
Got engaged but it came to an end when our careers took us to different countries.
Oh sounds like a book. I’m intrigued 😍
That’s pretty much the story. Haha.
LOLOL well it was a good non the less!
I didn’d actively start dating till 2 more before I graduated High School
*months probably for the best. In hind sight nearly dropped out of college because of a second girlfriend who was vwry unstable and way too much for an 18-21 year old to handle.
Oh okay I just aasked how it worked out before I saw this comment.
That is horrible and I’m so glad you didn’t drop out because of someone else’s instability. How did you handle dating going forward?
With caution, but i still managed to find myself in relationships that never lasted more than 3 months for whatever reason.
Do you think that helped you mke better dating decisions?
If only, i went through a lot shit to find and marry a Gem
You hit Gold!!!!!!!! I love that 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽😍😍😍😍😍😍
I mean there is a more unusual amount of stress because of her bipolar disorder but compared to everyone else I ever dated, she is my world 😁👩❤️👨🌎
And that’s all that matters, you too love birds💜💖💜
Love the quote.
I think the truth needs to be said, but whatever will be will be and kids will have relationships they’re not ready for.
So will adults! LOL
My friends dating pool is a scarry disaster!
This is true… it does happen and yes it’s scary.
I am forty-seven years old now. I never dated during my teenage years as I had no desire to.
My mother and I had a very close relationship. She shared everything with me, and I with her. She did not keep me sheltered. She did not force anything on me either, she allowed me to be my own person. But she always taught me right from wrong. I enjoyed being a child, teen, and even young adult without getting into any relationship.
The funny thing about the situation is there were certain adults judging me because I wasn’t dating as a teen or young adult. Even some family members thought it was strange whereas certain others were proud.
My mother said back then they were jealous because I was young and had not fell into the traps that they or their children did when they were younger.
To me, guys were nothing to be falling over or crying about. I didn’t see anything fascinating or irresistible about them in general.
There is nothing wrong with romantic relationships for those who desire them or are interested in them.
However, as a parent you are totally correct. It is important to not get involved at such an early age.
I cannot speak for everyone, but sometimes when children or young people do not get the love, or enough love and attention in the home they may go out looking for it.
I had so much love from my mother and I did not seek attention or anything else from the outside or others- especially not from a guy.
Your love, knowledge, support, honesty and strength that you instill within your children should give them the confidence and stability they need.
You are great for wanting to spare your children unnecessary situations they do not need to endure only to look back on as a waste of time for someone who was not worth their time to begin with.
Your children are worth so much more than that!
This is the BEST COMMENT!!!! Thank a million times for sharing this. You have no idea how much I appreciate your words of wisdom. I couldn’t agree more with you. It’s fun to be a carefeee and happy kid. I wanted them to stay that way for as long as possible. You are so lucky to have a close relationship with your mother. So blessed!❤️❤️❤️❤️
Ok…I’m going to sidetrack and rant. I was in book club the other day. We were discussing a book where the mother says to the daughter I wish you wouldn’t marry this young. One member of my book club said that you have to marry hound because you only meet perspective mates in college. I almost lost it
OMG that is so not true. There shouldn’t be pressure t stick with anyone you meet at a young age. My mom did that to me when I was 18. She thought if I let this guy go (who was mentally and physically abusive) I wouldn’t find another guy with a college education.
I know! I’m till seething since Wednesday. I might have to blog about that
My thirteen year grandson had a girlfriend. He asked me to pay for and drive him and his girlfriend to the movie show. Belladonna. They grow up too fast.
Oh wow! Yeah they sure do😬
Too fast dear Belladonna.
Say no more. Kids should be kids because they are
Amen to that! I love the name of your blog!!!