How DARE You

Some people overstep boundaries and then wonder why you’re mad!

Today I was scrolling through Instagram and stumbled upon this comment on the page of a fitness guru that I follow.

I was in shock at the nerve of this guy. Who the hell does he think he is? He had the gull to tell another woman about his wife’s physique and said, “that’s all I NEED your help with.” 

Are you kidding me?

However, I love the way Kathy handled this guy.

So after reading his comment, I started thinking about how his wife might feel if she saw this. Maybe she would be understanding and willing to take Kathy’s advice, or perhaps she would be pissed. 

How would you feel if you were his wife?

I’ll tell you; I wouldn’t take this very well. I don’t care what my husband build is; he better mind his business and leave my situation off the internet. No one can force you to lose weight or tone up. If you are still deciding whether to begin your journey, that’s your choice, and people that love you should support that.

There is a difference between wanting someone to live a long healthy life and wanting your wife to be tone. To me, that’s superficial and not a health concern. Instead, he wants his wife to meet beauty standards that are set at an unattainable level. Society is making it hard enough for women to feel safe and secure in the skin they are in. Then to marry an idiot that’s trying to FIX you is downright unacceptable and disgusting. 

Men and women, weigh in on this topic, please!

Ladies, would you be okay with your husband telling you that he wants you to tone up?

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!


66 Replies to “How DARE You”

  1. Wow! That is a terrible thing, byfriend r hudsband must be very careful about telling those things… What is n his head? Thank’s fr share, Belladonna. Have a lovely day!

  2. This right here:

    “I’ll tell you; I wouldn’t take this very well. I don’t care what my husband build is; he better mind his business and leave my situation off the internet. No one can force you to lose weight or tone up. If you are still deciding whether to begin your journey, that’s your choice, and people that love you should support that.”

    I better not have a man or woman I’m dating spouting off on what he or she thinks I better do with my body online to anyone else, especially a fitness guru.

    Come see me first. “The audacity.”

  3. Something I deeply admire about my husband is his kindness around the variety of sizes I have embodied over the years. He is always complimentary and genuine about my physical appearance. I gained at least 40 pounds with each kid (we have 4) and it took time to get back in shape. I love that he never cared about any of that nonsense, he cared for me, and I’ve always known this to be true. I feel sorry for anyone who is made to feel insecure about the way our bodies change through the years. Hugs, C

    1. Cheryl you have a good one!!! My husband is the same way. I have been all over the place with my weight and he has never made me feel bad about it. So my heart breaks for anyone that has to deal with a partner like this guy.

  4. Hell to the naw!!! I wonder if she knows he’s such a shallow dolt, or if he only talks crap about her behind her back to other women, hoping for some sympathy. Only one word for this guy: Loser, with a capital L.

  5. This is a very thought provoking post, dear Bella. Of course, I would definitely tell him to mind his own business.

  6. You have to ignore those people that overstep their boundaries. Especially on the internet, you’ll find people that are bold because they’re behind a computer screen, but that’s why I love the block button! Keep your head up

  7. If I ever found out my partner was talking about me on the internet like that he would no longer have a girlfriend/wife. The audacity to talk about her weight like that. WOW.

  8. What a loser! He obviously doesn’t care about his spouse/girlfriend/significant other. When I see comments like this guys, I always think of a mirror, meaning what kind of shape is he in. Work on yourself and instead support others, don’t bring them down!

  9. Clearly there is a major ego issue here, which this guy is projecting onto his wife. I’m disinterested, to put it mildly, in this type of toxic behavior. Excllent post, Belladonna!

    1. I know you’re not like this, Jeff and I’m so grateful to have you weigh in on this topic. The world is definitely lacking good supportive men. Thank you for being a good one!

  10. Hello dear Belladonna. Nothing had changed. The pro-gun people and anti-women are winning. Hard to understand my friend. A election night and tomorrow the world is the same. Dear friend. What are we leaving for our children? We must change our world Belladonna. If we don’t. What did we do for them? I know you are wise. It is hard to understand this world.

    1. John I feel the same way. I’m looking at election results now and I am beyond disappointed. I don’t know what it’s going to take for people to wake up and VOTE!!!!!!!!!

      1. I was very upset. All the old men won again and the pro-gun men and women (Republicans gained seats.). At least in Michigan, we kept our governor and they passed the bill. Prop three. Giving women, the decision about their bodies. It is so sad. A waste of a election. We have the same bought men and women running our country. I watched the election for eight hours. I agree Belladonna. We have two more years of mess. Thank you for the black voters and the Latinos voter, voted 93% for the Gretchen Whitmer.

      2. I just can’t wrap my head around eletcing politicians that are doing more harm than good. As long as they have republican after their name then people vote for them. The gun law should change, making decisions for our bodies HAS to change. And regardless of how anyoonoe feels about same ex marriage it’s their right choose to be married.
        I know West coast states are looking for a change in government so they can hep with the overwhelming homeless population. So we shall see what changes with that situation.

      3. It was a sad election. In Michigan prop three gave the women the right to decide. And we elected a good lady to be governor again. Our economy needs a kick start. Where I live in Michigan. Many businesses are gone. I hope you and your family are doing well. Still warm days in Michigan dear Belladonna.

      4. So glad they passed the right for women too choose, it shouldn’t be topic.
        so glad most people are having great weather still. I hope you are enjoying life my friend! It’s good to be alive!

  11. Just because someone is chubby or heavy does not make them unattractive at all.

    Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors, and that is a fact.

    It is about what is healthy. Someone can be skinny and unhealthy.

    As long as one is in good health, and their weight is not causing any issues or contributing factors or threat to their life such as diabetes, or heart-disease, it should not matter what size they are.

    If one loses or wants to gain weight it should be of their own preference or desire and to not meet anyone else’s approval.

    Self-love, self-value, and self-respect comes first and if someone does not, will not, or cannot accept you for who you are or what you look like then they need to go somewhere else.

    No woman should ever rate herself by what someone else says or thinks of her.

    Self-confidence and strength comes from within. When you build from within instead of building yourself on the acceptance or whatever else from others, then no one will ever be able to take that away from you!

    1. Yes I tell my clients all the time, lose weight and get in shape for you. And yes skinny or thin does not EVER equate to fit!
      Self love is the best and kick anyone to the curb if their love is worthless!
      Thank you for reading and welcome to my blog 😍😍❤️

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