What if you marry an IDIOT

Then you divorce an idiot, simple as that!

The other day I had lunch with a friend of mine. She’s single and ready to mingle.

She’s recently divorced and now navigating her way through single life. She’s ready to date and possibly marry again. However, one of her fears is marrying another idiot (her words, not mine).

She’s nervous about falling for a man who pretends to be one way, and after they say “I do,” he rips off his mask and says, “Gotcha Bitch”.

I totally get her fear! But if you marry an idiot, you divorce an idiot and move on!

Dating at 40 sounds like a nightmare, but it’s worth it if you don’t want to be alone. I enjoy being married, so I would definitely get back on that horse to check out my options. Well, unless my husband passed away. Then, out of respect for him, I would remain single—no shame to anyone who may choose to go another way.

The Prospects

So here we are at the table, looking at her dating prospects; I tried my damndest not to laugh at how these guys were posing. I was curious to know if these were their mug shots or what. 

And who writes, “I have seven kids”?


Those details should wait until you meet in person. Because maybe the kids are grown and require less attention than teenage kids or younger. But when I read SEVEN, I think, girl, skip, skip, skip and move on to the next.

By the time we were done with our lunch, she had said, “uggghhh, I don’t know about any of these guys I’ve met.” And all I could say was, “me either, chile.”

What do y’all think about finding a date organically versus online? 

Do you think you have less chance of finding an idiot in person versus online?

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!


66 Replies to “What if you marry an IDIOT”

  1. This is beyond my experience Belladonna. Never dated anyone, just married my husband because my father said he is a good guy, a good match.

  2. I have heard all sorts of things from students in middle school. They repeat what they hear at home and the language. Sometimes you hear interesting stories, like on tv and other times you really want to meet the parents. Meet by chance is favorable but I guess it depends on the circles you run with.

    1. Kids have zero filter and you don’t know what’s about to be said. I like the thought of meeting by chance and have that movie fairytale beginning. But you have to leave the house for that to happen.
      Yes having a good circle of friends will definitely increase your chances.

      1. Well, neither has worked out well so far. Yeah, the work thing weird, but when we split we had different jobs so it wasn’t as awkward as it could’ve been.

  3. This is just my experience but I noticed the same outcomes with online vs. In person. The only other element was the guys spotted me and approached, which made it feel more special, but they ended up pursuing other women in that same manner after. A lot of people you meet organically may also have dating apps though I think most value the connection more (to some degree) if you met by chance. A guy I met online last year still wants to date me (after we had some time apart) so well see how it goes. I still love a different guy I met on Tinder last December and we keep on touch, but he’s still in that player phase.
    At the end of the day I think if a guy really wants to stay with you he will regardless of how you met, but as you say you’ll have to filter through a lot of duds.

    1. I am so invested in your situation. Please keep me posted on how it all pans out. I think dating can be so much fun if you’re being yourself. Lead with your mind and not your heart, be careful and put your feelings first! 💜

      1. Aw thank you. 😊 That’s so true dating should be fun and stress free. I’m looking forward to getting into it again. That guy who wanted to date me again ended up texting me just as I woke up that he’s here and hungry and asked if I wanted to meet now which I found to be very rude as we made plans at 1pm for a reason. I think it’s a red flag to not honor a set time and respect another’s personal time. But I’m excited to start dating other people. 🤣 I guess it didn’t work out with him for a reason.

      2. Thank you so much. It’s funny after I cut it off there was a moment where I felt a little bad, but remembered how rude it is to show up hours too early and expect me to rush out because he’s hungry. Lol. I’ll definitely keep you posted when I meet a real one. 🙂

  4. Marriage is such a big deal, it doesn’t really matter how you meet as long as the connection, loyalty, commitment , and love is real. I have 6 kids (3 step children and 3 biological), I think it’s great that he is being honest enough to say that he is a package deal upfront though I agree that once he meets the person he should specify ages. An idiot can always become an idiot at any time so if she just puts her trust on a higher power and accepts what will come, she will soon realize that destiny could not be controlled and that what is meant to be will be. Very interesting, Belladonna. Truly enjoyed this thought provoking post, my friend .Thanks for sharing. 💕💕💕

    1. Grace you are such a nurturing person so for you 3 additional kids would definitely be okay. My friend isn’t nurturing at all🤣 she’s as sweet as pie. I told her to try hard to find a man with no kids or has grown children. You are so right, an idiot can always become an idiot so we have to trust God and not just ourselves. 💜💜💜

  5. My wife and I met in the classifieds, almost 39 years ago….but I’ve heard so many horror stories, and I keep as these friends if they didn’t even know what their potential husbands were like before they said I do?…we lived together first….a really weird thought though, I have more female friends then men friends….I have no idea why that is, but if I had to choose who to say have lunch with, I’d pick that over beers with bud every time…..

    1. Warren that’s so interesting that you have more female friends than male.
      Congratulations on being married for 39 years 🙌🏽💗💗💗
      I think it’s great that you rather have lunch than drinking with friends!

  6. I met my current (second) husband online—18 years ago. I met my first organically. I’ve dated men (18+ years ago) that I’d met both organically and online and had the same issues with both ways. One big positive for online dating is that you can filter out a ton of “potentials” by reading their bios, checking out their photos, and communicating with them via chat/text/phone before ever pulling the trigger to go on a physical date. It’s a net time saver.

    1. Congratulations!!!!
      It sounds like you did things the right way by filtering and then saying okay these are potentials. When you just looks at bodies and faces you are setting yourself up for increased chances of dissatisfaction.
      You have good point about online dating saving time.

  7. While I am not a fan of online dating, because you don’t know who is on the other side of that photo, I applaud those who are brave enough to try it. I would prefer the old-fashioned way although there are issues there too. But I love it, if you marry an idiot, you divorce an idiot! Girl you are tooo crazy! 🤣😝😂

  8. Idiots are everywhere, but even worse are liars and scammers. It’s hard to filter them all out, especially the smooth, experienced con men, whether online or elsewhere. Good luck to your friend!

  9. It’s funny but I have a post in the pipeline about dating profiles spurred by a convo I had on my blog about meeting people. I’m still turning this over in my head

  10. It seems like guys online are looking for women with good jobs or business partners or something that will benefit them financially. I’m glad I’m married! I think dating would be a nightmare nowadays.

    1. I know it is, I’m trying to help my daughter and son make good decisions 😖
      Yes seven!!!!! He should keep that to himself until they meet in person and explain. If they are grown and he’s 50 or so then that’s a different story but still a lot of kids 😂

      1. Men should consider vasectomies more often… kidding! 😂 But yeah you would think that’s something he would want to talk about in person.

  11. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

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