How to STOP saying “SORRY”

I know saying sorry is a polite thing to say BUT…..

We say it way too often, and we shouldn’t apologize about most things. Are you guilty of apologizing for being late to a party or having to say no?

Let me tell you! 

I used to apologize for being me. There are things about me that I can not help, and for those things, I felt the need to say, “I’m sorry I’m like this.” Then one day, I said HELL TO THE NO; I am who I am because this is the way God made me and/or my environment changed me into this. And for that reason alone, you will not get an apology, so don’t hold your breath waiting on one.

I grew up quickly; I saw many awkward things, witnessed terrible encounters between others, endured hardship, pain, and a series of unfortunate events. Those things made me a little rough, soft, wiser, bulletproof, full of emotion, and emotionless.

I don’t apologize for any of it, and neither should you!

The guilt of saying no

I am guilty of feeling guilty when I was invited somewhere and had to say no. I’ve even had guilt arise when I was late showing up to something. But here’s the kicker, I have had regret for showing up just as I am. As if being me deserves an apology. 

Nope, I’m no longer apologizing for that, and neither should you!

Whenever I say sorry, I instantly feel like I’ve done something terribly wrong, and I feel some type of way about myself. That feeling had to go, so this is what I did to get rid of that unwanted feeling.

How to stop saying sorry

  1. Throw the whole word out
  2. Instead of saying sorry, say, unfortunately, I can’t make it.
  3. Don’t begin a sentence by saying I’m sorry for feeling this way or I’m sorry that I am this way.
  4. Own who you are and have enough confidence to stand up for yourself
  5. Never allow anyone to question who you are or what makes you, you.
  6. Stop looking for forgiveness for silly things. Not all things matter.
  7. If you arrive late, give the reason if deemed necessary and skip the I’m sorry to act.

Saying sorry put me into defense mode, and that stressed me out. Therefore a change was needed.

You could have chosen any blog to read but you chose mine, and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

71 Replies to “How to STOP saying “SORRY””

  1. I must be an outlier but I never feel guilty about saying NO! I’m glad you’ve decided to lose the guilt. It’s all about personal boundaries. I do say “I’m sorry” but it’s when I hear someone talk about their woes– and I feel empathy for their plight.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Sometimes, it’s so ingrained in my mind set. But I try not to say it as often as I used to or feel like I have to, even if I have done nothing to aplogize for. It’s a process.. No is even harder sometimes.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I am totally with you, it’s a process and dyou have to constantly remind yourself that it’s okay and no apology os necessary. No is so hard!!!! But I am working on it. Keep me posted on your progress! We got this!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for sharing! This used to be me. Always saying sorry to make a situation better. Then I just stopped one day. Now people can sense when I’m going to say no or something they don’t want to hear. 😂 Made me feel a lot better.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Sorry Belladonna…wait, oh you said NOT to say sorry! 😲 So sorry about that! My bad! 🤣😜😂 Girlfriend, you are right on with the truth. Forever apologizing, getting stressed out, and nobody gives a crap whether you are sorry or not, ain’t cool or popular! Great message ladybug!!! 🐞🤗🦋🌞💋😘

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You hit the mail on the head!!!!! I couldn’t agree more. Whenever I say it for something I shouldn’t be sorry for I feel smaller and less confident.
      Thank you for adding that point and I’m so happy to see your comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. On the flip side, there are those who are appalled because I DON’T say I’m sorry very often. The entire thing needs to be revamped from all sides–those feeling guilty, and those having unreasonable expectations or being judgmental. We’re all just trying to live our best lives–let’s stop being sorry, or expecting others to feel sorry, when it’s unnecessary.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I use sorry excessively. Many times I don’t use it for what sorry means, but more just to be polite. However, I don’t feel bad when others don’t apologise. I don’t find it impolite. So, I was wondering one day why I was so conscious of how I respond to someone, after which I started checking myself to see if I have to say sorry or say thanks. Not completely there yet, but improving. I find saying ‘no’ very difficult though, and I’ve gotten myself into things that I did not want to do just because I could not say no.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are hitting some berry relatable points. It’s funny that people who say sorry a lot often find it difficult to say no. I was one of those people and then I evaluated how many people are in my corner when I need them. Is our relationship/friendship one sided.
      I found a balance of being there for the people who are always ther for me and saying HELL TO NO to all others. 😂😂😂
      And saying sorry makes my skin crawl now unless I was wrong. I’m that case it flows out easily.
      Keep me posted on your progress😍💖

      Liked by 2 people

  6. I had this guilt of saying ‘NO’ and i won’t lie i still have..but now I’ve understood when to apologise…And now i know that my people would always understand and accept me as I’m and would never demand an explanation for my decisions.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. This is great. Learning one’s boundaries is important, but being able to communicate them is extremely hard. I have been working to remember my ability to say no and to use it when appropriate. I love fierce posts like this that help us implement our own tools!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for reading and commenting, I’m so happy you liked this post. I try to post things that I’m either struggling with or have struggles with in hopes to help someone along the way. Keep working on saying no as much as possible!! It will get so easy and before you know it NO will just fly right out of your mouth 😂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Never apologize for who you are. No one knows the depth of what you’ve been through but you.

    I have been through things at a very early age too, I know!

    Some people will never understand the shoes you’ve walked in as they would have never been able to walk in them and still stand up straight as you have.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Spot on! We’re apologizing because we were raised with good manners. But ever since entering adulthood I found that I don’t need to say sorry as much especially when I’m not wrong. Sorry not sorry! LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

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