Posted on by Belladonna

Look after Yourself Friday

The act of looking after yourself looks and feels different for everyone.

To one person looking at yourself may mean sleeping in later, getting a new hairstyle or color change, starting a new diet, or buying new clothes. On the other hand, perhaps it means just sitting in your house alone and enjoying the silence.

How I’ve been feeling for the past two weeks

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been having the damndest time trying to shake this depressing feeling. I didn’t know why I was feeling down on myself and creating such a negative space for myself. But today, as I sat in my room and dealt with my silence, I realized why I felt incomplete.

I’m a mom before I’m anything else, and if I’m not giving parenting my everything, then I feel like a failure. When I became a mom, I wanted to give my kids everything I yearned for, and I did. However, now that two of my kiddos are in college, I can’t reach out and touch them, nor can I sit and stare at them like I LOVE to do.

My son is having his second football game today, and boy, oh boy, is it breaking me not to be there. With his games being 14 hours away and on Friday, we have to pick and choose which games we can attend. Next year he’ll play on Saturday, so that will literally be a game changer for us.

It’s killing me that I can’t cheer him on tonight. But be ready for me to flood you all with pictures when I attend his next four games. Yes, my husband, and I will be the loudest and countriest parents his college has ever seen.

How I looked after myself today

Since I have been feeling all sorts of blue, I decided I needed to step outside my typical Friday routine and do something that would make me come out of this slump.

Retail therapy was the name of the game. However, I couldn’t find any clothes or purses I liked, so I went to Hobby Lobby. And I was saved!!!

I bought the cutest coffee mug, and the biggest smile spread across my entire face when I saw it. I haven’t had a cup this big since I was in college. I loved that mug, and I feel that someone broke it on purpose. BUT anyway. I remembered I needed more wax melts, so I mosied over and picked a few up. 

But as I looked through the different names of the melts and smelled them, I came across one that read UPLIFT. When I smelled it, I felt just that, uplifted and renewed.

It helped me

My new coffee cup and wax melts will never replace the joy I feel when cheering my son on, but they helped me!

How do you look after yourself?

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

58 Replies to “Look after Yourself Friday”

  1. Awesome, dear. You and Kym definitely helped to make me feel good and come out of a possible depression. I keep reading positive and motivational quotes and blogs to cheer me up. ♥️♥️♥️♥️

    Reply

    1. You have cheered me up as well. I need a good laugh and your silly post being me just that. So I thank you as well. We are all in this together and I’m blessed to know people like you and Kym ❤️

      Reply

  3. You’re a good mom. Bless you. And so happy you recognized what was making you blue. Nothing in a mother’s love is replaceable. All is Devine forever. But glad you found a smile in those items you bought. Bless you.

    Love the work in progress that IS You!!

    I daydream, and sleep in whenever I can.
I take long baths and long walks, leave my phone and take my digital camera instead. 
In my yard, I tell pleasantries to my flowers,
And in the comforts of my home, you can find me slow-reading a book— daydreaming. Seeing divinity.
    Stay well. Happy weekend.

    Reply

    1. Thank you Selma!!!!! I appreciate this so much💜
      You’re go to’s sound so relaxing and rewarding. I am going to have to bring my camera and no phone with me when I go for a walk.
      What a great idea💖

      Reply

  7. part of looking after myself is always means cutting myself some slack and forgiving myself for things I decide not to do, and being fine with that

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    1. Warren that is so perfect. How you are about that and so wise to know you need to do that. No one is perfect so why do we search for that within ourselves? Forgive yourself! 💜💜

      Reply

  11. It’s going to take a loooong time to get over the feeling that your main job in life is being a mom. I realized, after my last one went off to college, that I was basically stalking him online, looking for any kind of news about him while he was at school.

    (In my defense, he was awful at writing letters and calling me just to catch up; he couldn’t even bother to email his mother back then. He was attending a school that was a four-hour flight from where I was living, or a three-day drive if you were the only driver and had no one to switch off with.)

    Anyway, when he finally graduated and I saw him walk the stage, it hit me then that he was all grown up and no longer in need of a hovering, anxious mother. This is a hard thing for a woman who spent a big chunk of her life raising her babies, but you do grow out of it, gradually. I still have anxiety fits over my kids—the oldest is now 40 and has her own family and house, so I’ve had plenty of time to get over it—but I’m also discovering my own life and loves, and am enjoying it a lot. But as I said, it takes time. Be kind to yourself, momma.

    Reply

    1. This message warmed my heart so much!!! You have no idea how much your words touched me. Thank a million times for all of this. I’m trying so hard to take a step back and just allow him to breathe but it’s so TOUGH!!!!
      But you are so right about finding things that you enjoy. 💜💜💜

      Reply

  12. Exercise, books, dong one thing a day for me. I also started restorative yoga. I’ve been doing it every other week. Omg life changing. You hold poses for like five minutes, and you use props like blankets and bolsters to keep you comfy. Have you ever done?

    Reply

      1. It’s actually awesome because the whole experience is so tranquil. And there’s so many props, the teacher makes sure you’re comfy,and you can adjust your position. I sleep better and my resting heart rate goes down for a few days after. I just wish I could afford to go weekly,

      2. I was just about to ask how much. Sounds intense and just what I need. I’m going to commit to doing yoga with the Peloton instructors. I know my body and mind would benefit from it.

      6. I bet they are! Around here it’s the same. Which is why I kept my membership to Lifetime for so long. My membership was 100 a month but you could have unlimited yoga classes and they were soooooo good!

      7. My gym has been good about spinning and body pump, but severely lacking in the yoga, and Pilates reformer is an additional cost. I’ve just juggled my spending around a little

  13. Girl, sometimes you have to find a positive way to get through those moments. Something as simple as a mug or buying a plant can soothe such displaced emotions. I’m not facing the same realities as you are but I can certainly connect to that feeling of why you feel blah, during a time of celebration. Of course this does not fill the place of your reason for feeling the miles of separation as you do, but you collected yourself for the moment with something that makes you smile. 🤩🦋😊💋😎 Do you baby girl! 🤜🏼🤛🏼

    Reply

      1. I am having a nice weekend Belladonna and I know you are too. I agree with you, it’s the little things that can bring great joy! Have a FANtabulous weekend sistah! 🤗💋😘🦋😊

  16. I enjoyed and related to your lovely read. I have to advise those unaware that a Hobby Lobby is being boycotted for declaring war in women’s rights. I would not set foot inside their stores.

    Reply

  17. Sometimes we don’t need to do anything. It’s okay to take a break and rest. Just do something that you love. And boom, a wonderful me time 😊
    Your post is such an inspiration. I think I will do this frequently for my mental health care 🤩

    Reply

  18. It is OKAY to NOT be okay, and you should take all the time you need to take care of YOU first. You did a great job getting your babies to college, and it’s time to take a breather and kick your feet up mama. You sound like an amazing person! <3

    Reply

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