Back to living

I feel myself coming back!

As much as I would love to sit in my room with the curtains drawn and my head buried in my pillow, I have to get up. Not for me but for my youngest kiddo. She deserves two parents that are doing their best to provide for her.

This week my whole family has felt a wide variety of emotions. It wouldn’t be so tough if we could talk to my new college kid. But his phone has to be off for a while, and then we can chat away. 

I miss everything about him. And I can’t help how I feel. So I’m not going to rush out of this state, but I will make a conscious effort to heal. 

More than 500 steps

Over the last few days, I’ve taken a womping 400 steps daily. But today was my day to reclaim my mental health, so shockingly, 11,578 steps were taken, and I worked out. So there’s that!

Day by Day

I was gifted the blessing of seeing my son every day for the past 18 years. And just like that, I have to suck it up and not see him until September… which feels like a lifetime away.

The thought of it makes me feel sick to my stomach. So no, I will not get over the way I’m hurting overnight, and no, I will not stop expressing myself. If I were to do those things, my mental health would be in jeopardy.

I’m a mom who loves the hell out of her boy and would do anything to make sure he is okay. So, therefore, I will take it day by day, and that’s all.

Joining the living

Today was an overall better day. I only cried once; prayer helped ease my mind. I know that God has my boy covered; my faith is strong. And my son loves the Lord, so I know if he is feeling weak during his initial life change, he will lean on the Lord to get him through.

Isaiah 40:31

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.”

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!


21 Replies to “Back to living”

  1. You chose the perfect scripture. It’s a favorite of mine when I am feeling lost and alone. Hang in there, Bella. Move through it the way you need to. I am glad you’re letting yourself feel everything that comes with the temporary loss of your son’s presence. 🙏🏾💙

  2. So glad to hear you are gradually getting back in Belladonna mode. 😉 It’s a slow process but this is just a dress rehearsal because you got two more to go, but at least you have time to recoup from your first birdie spreading his wings and leaving the nest to explore other amazing things. I know although you are a hot mess 😂😝🤣 (just kidding) you are no doubt a proud mama! What a blessing girlfriend! 🙏🏼 I feel ya! 🥰💋🤗💖😘

    1. Girl this rough! But thisis my second one that has goone to school. My daughter is a junior this year at an HBCU and now my baby boy. Our last onne will be with us for 6 more years. So that’s why I’m not all the way torn apart.
      But when she leaves I’m going to need the ambulance to come swoop me and my husband up. LOL

      Stay tuned girlfriend!!!1

      1. Belladonna, girl you are a riot! Ok, so this is not your first rodeo! Whew! Look girlfriend, don’t worry, because they might be boomerang kids, who come back to the roost after graduation! 😜😲🤣 Oh happy, happy, joy, joy!!! 👏🏻😁💖

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