There’s a difference between forgiving someone and apologizing for how you react to their actions.
I’m a new fond lover of forgiveness, but I refuse to go up to someone that repeatedly hurt me, pained me, and apologize for kicking them out of my life.
We deserve peace
We deserve to be listened to
We deserve unconditional love
If you ever feel as though those few things are missing, then give yourself permission to demand better. Demand better from yourself!
People can only treat you the way you allow them to. And sometimes, to demand better means to walk away unapologetically. Your walk away doesn’t have to mean I don’t forgive you but what it does mean is;
I LOVE MYSELF
When I was in my 30’s, I thought I needed to express how and why I felt the way I did. Then when I was faced with criticism, I automatically folded. I retracted all my expressed feelings and did what I could to keep the peace. But when I did that, that meant I had just put myself in a situation that left me feeling unfulfilled and not loved by me.
I put others’ make-believe, fairytale land satisfaction above my truth! No one should live like that. We should all be able to feel comfortable enough in our skin to express HURT, to express the feeling of EMOTIONAL ABANDONMENT to express the LOVE that wasn’t given, without having to apologize because we made a few folks upset.
Your feelings do not have to align with others’ feelings. Likewise, MY feelings do not have to mirror anyone’s feelings.
Let’s go deeper
I remember when I would constantly look at what I was doing wrong, and I was taught, well, this person is older; therefore, they will mostly die before me, and I will live with regret if I don’t apologize FOR THE WAY THEY MADE ME FEEL!!!
PLEASE make that make sense…. because regardless of age, tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. As ignorant as the above statement feels, I was told these things. So basically, because I’m 30-plus years younger than the person that single handily destroyed my peace, I should walk around faking love and throwing out unsolicited apologies.
And my reaction is, “FOR WHAT”? So I’m not doing that anymore. I refuse and support others who refuse to apologize for the pain they didn’t ask to receive.
Everyone may qualify for forgiveness, but not everyone qualifies nor deserve an apology for your silence.
You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!