Some go a lifetime without finding it, and they blame everyone except themselves!
Maybe it’s you. Ever consider that?
We are such flawed beings. We constantly want to blame others for our actions. It’s so easy to say my relationship failed because he/she has issues. Never looking at yourself, but only pointing fingers at someone else. As if it takes one to make a relationship work.
But who do you blame after multiple failed marriages or relationships? Do you still push the blame away from you? Maybe you aren’t entirely to blame, but have you noticed that the common denominator is you?
Yes, you!
It takes maturity and self-awareness to say, “maybe I’m the drama, maybe I’m the issue.”
Taking a good look at yourself, writing out the problems that occurred in your relationships, and stepping back to consider all factors takes guts. Facing the music means you are maturing and perhaps ready for a real commitment.
Listing your flaws and strengths is a healthy way of discovering who you are. There isn’t anything like reading notes that you took about yourself. Of course, it is a scary situation to stare at all of your truths on paper. But you can’t run from it nor deny it because you are the one who wrote it.
I remember the first time I wrote out all my flaws. When I was done writing, I began to read them aloud, and then my voice grew quieter and quieter because I didn’t want anyone to hear all this negativity that was spooling out of my mouth. Then I thought if I’m too embarrassed for anyone to listen to it, I should be too embarrassed to continue behaving this way.
I knew that if I wanted the best for myself, I NEEDED TO CHANGE, not everyone else around me. Me, Myself and I had to make a run so that I could move towards a better version of myself.
If you are looking for mature love, then change whatever you need to change so you can catch that!
You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!
~Belladonna~
Belladonna’s Flashlight 
This is wonderful advice. If the common denominator is you, it’s time for some serious self-examination.
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Amen!!! Thank you so much for stopping by. I appreciate your comments so much.
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This! You say it all so clearly as always. I believe in taking responsibility for our experiences. “have you noticed that the common denominator is you?” – this is a perfect question to ask. Because wherever we go there we are, as ourselves.
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Yes, exactly! Once I started to look at myself and take resposibilty I started to treat myself and others so much better. Thank you for all your comments today, I’m honored!
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My pleasure always 🙂
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Carrying and sharing emotional baggage can be one big headache and heartache waiting to happen. 😲 If you don’t resolve issues or drama before entering a new relationship, it’s a disaster in the making. 😤 Great message Belladonna! 👏🏼💐😊
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You said that and I couldn’t agree more. It’s an awful thing when folks bring old bad energy into a fresh relaationsip. Recipe for disaster!!!!
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Honey don’t you know it. I speak from experience! 😣💼📦 But at my age, I ain’t havin’ drama queens freaking out on me. Bye Boo!!! 👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽
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I know that’s right!
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Not everyone is meant to have a lifetime partner. I have learned that I do better alone, and it’s not a sad thing! I am much happier since I quit searching for love…
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It’s great that you are comfortable with being single. Too many people bounce from one relationship to another because tthe hate being alone.
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I was doing that for a while and it truly is a path to low self esteem and insanity!
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We kind of get trained to accept the flavors of the moment and move on… some of us aren’t those people. I wanted someone who would stay for life. I didnt settle. 👍
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Good for you…..Never settle!!!
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