Holding on to a dream that kills

Saying goodbye to a dream is like suffering the death of your favorite person.

Most of us have dreams and aspirations that keep us together. Even if those dreams are far-fetched and deep down in your heart, you know they can never be. But holding on to it prevents you from hitting your rock bottom.

Unfortunately, holding on to those dreams may do you more harm than good.

A few years ago, I watched an outstanding performance at the theatre; I tried to hold back my tears throughout the show. But unfortunately, I couldn’t; my desire to enjoy the show took a back seat to my anger, hurt, and heartbreak. When I stared at the stage, I could see young me doing what I loved. The more I imagined this, the deeper the knife went into my heart.

I thought about how athletically gifted my children are and their love for competing, and what if I denied them the right to train and become the people they are today. Unfortunately, that’s what happened to me. 

My dream was to travel the world and perform. 

All I needed was someone to believe in me 

Hold my hand for a short while

I needed someone to hold my hand

I needed someone to hold my hand 

And believe in me

Once I entered college, all I heard was noise concerning dancing and that being a poor choice. “Noone goes to school for dance” is what I was told. I’ve mentioned before that I wasn’t born tough nor strong; those skills were developed over time. If I had acquired those skills early on, I would have been my own cheerleader.

When I left the theatre, I promised myself that I would never return; it was too painful to watch someone else succeed at a dream that I’ve held on to my entire life.

But it’s time to let it go. Bury it and move on so my heart can finally recover.

If you or someone you know are having a hard time letting a dream go, please be patient with them or yourself. The frustration of knowing that you have to bury something that meant so much can be unbearable. However, once you have what it takes to move on, there is room for bigger dreams to be born!

Kill off your old dreams before they kill you.

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!


22 Replies to “Holding on to a dream that kills”

  1. I totally understand I wanted to be a rockstar, I even had a couple bands but I wanted to dream more than they did and then I got married and started having kids so that was the end of that. Who told you people don’t go to school for dance? What a lie! Have they never seen Fame??.

    1. Now that’s a great dream! Yes you’re right for sure, It’s ashame that so many people have the misconception that theatre and dance majors are broke!

  2. I thought I would remarry I was very sure of that until one day someone told me that it might not happen. I let go of that dream and am making the best independent life for myself that I can. That includes my dog ❤️

  3. Unfortunately, many young and talented people do not have the support needed to achieve dreams. Kudos to you for supporting your own children! It takes talent and inner fortitude to achieve dreams, regardless of the age, and the support of just one person can make all the difference.

    1. Well shit thanks for calling me old! Just kiddiing LOL!

      You are so right though and I love Lyrical, interpretive, and African dance so I have to find a way to bring that back into my life.

  4. Girl Belladonna, wise words indeed. Just because you didn’t make it one way doesn’t mean that it can’t be done in another version. I wanted to be an artist and architect, and finally, I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t going to happen the way I thought because I was basing it on another person’s dream. But I love the way you summarized this:
    “The frustration of knowing that you have to bury something that meant so much can be unbearable. However, once you have what it takes to move on, there is room for bigger dreams to be born!”

    Thus, my creativity and aspirations took a different path. I had to let go and let God. That wasn’t easy, but necessary. I just hate I learned this lesson a little later than I expected…but I learned and it ain’t too late! There are more dreams in you, and I feel you are discovering just what they are. Thank you for bringing up a topic that we oftentimes get lost in, but don’t know what to do about it. Go ahead, Ms. Alvin Ailey!!! 😜💃🏽🎶💃🏽😎

    1. Just so you know I’m crying like a baby! And it’s the ugly cry. I love that so many people can relate and open to haav a conversation about it. You are so right, it’s never to late!!!

      1. There you go girl. Sometimes we just reach that hiccup in the road until its time to regroup. Let that ugly cry flow, get it out of your system, then put on some lipstick, a bright bold top and shoes, like those bright red slide-ons in your picture, push your hair back, and in the words of Tangina from the movie Poltergeist, calmly say, “This house is clean!” LOL 😜🤣💖😆😂 And no ma’am, it’s never, ever too late, unless you find yourself in the back of a hertz headed to an undisclosed location!!!! 🤭😲😱

  5. I so appreciate your honest sharing – and I relate to this so much. It makes a world of a difference to have someone supporting our dreams at those younger ages. I am proud of us for chanelling those energies into giving what we missed to our kids and still keeping the willingness to create a life of our dreams in every which way possible.

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