A few weeks ago, I found myself re-evaluating friendships.
I don’t know, but I think covid made me do it. When we experienced shutdown, we all had to stop doing things that we found ourselves regularly doing, and many “friendships” came to a drastic halt.
And I ain’t mad about it.
However, I am mad that somehow I managed to get the coronavirus. The symptoms were mild, and I was back on my feet in a matter of days.
I digress during my newfound free time. I thought about friendships that I struggle with or seem one-sided… hell, who am I kidding? They were extremely one-sided. And news alert a few of those meaningless relationships were family members. I know if we weren’t related, we wouldn’t be friends. That feels strange to say, but it’s my truth, and I would rather admit it, face it, and deal with it than pretend that I don’t think that way.
2020 and 2021 forced me to deal with trauma and insecurities that had attached themselves to me when I was a child. I never dealt with pain, rejection, and words that can’t be unspoken. The year 2022 was and will remain my year of breaking all the chains that make me feel bound to any internal or external affliction to my body.
If you don’t make me feel good, then we aren’t good!
Having to guess and then second guess if we are friends or not isn’t my forte. The fact that I know the moment I do something to rub you the wrong way will bring out your claws. The moment you join the company, of anyone of comfort will expose who you are to me.
Fortunately, I was able to bring more value to my life this year by simply taking out the trash and reminding myself who the hell I am. I started to believe I was the problem that people wanted me to be for a quick moment.
Do you realize how freeing it is to get yourself back and shed light on the fact that you aren’t the problem? You are, however, the victim of other people’s circumstances. They choose to take their insecurities, loneliness, and bitterness out on individuals that are confident, strong, capable, and quite frankly has life poppin.
My life may not be perfect, but it’s mine, and I LOVE IT.
Furthermore, one monkey can’t change me, and sure the hell won’t stop my show.
You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!