I’ve been on this earth for 45 years. In those 45 years, I have completed elementary school, middle school, high school, military life, college, more college, married for 21 years, and raised three kids. In that time, I’ve come in contact with thousands and thousands of people.
However, in the last five years, I’ve come across the worse of, the worse. In my years of personal training, I found myself coaching five women that were “close friends” to each other. A sixth was on the way, but I put an end to all of the sessions before she had a chance to join my program.
Day after day, I would show up to train each one individually, and they would use this time to say how ignorant each of the other ladies are.
One of them thought it would be a great idea to have an affair with her friend’s (my client’s) husband and sleep with him in his house. Then they fell in LOVE!
But he was too scared to tell his wife. But little did he know, she already knew. I know that because she told me he was cheating, but she didn’t know who this mystery woman was. Little did they all know… I knew the story from all angles, but I didn’t dare part my lips to say anything. It wasn’t my place.
I swear, every day, a different friend from the group would be in tears. Because they weren’t on the invite list to have dinner the day prior or some of the ladies met for a bomb fire, and one friend was left out.
The child-like tears blew my mind, and I would ask each of them, “why are yall friends”?
At different times, each would ask me for my opinion, and I would instantly say…….
WHAT ARE YOU GETTING OUT OF THESE FRIENDSHIPS?
You all have children to raise, and your focus should be on them. They need your total and complete focus. I swear I said that so much that I should’ve had a shirt made with that printed on it.
We all have friendships and relationships that test our strengths. Some of them will leave us feeling drained and questioning ourselves. However, if you think this way, then run. Run for your freakin life, and don’t look back.
It doesn’t matter if you are running from your boyfriend, husband, friend, sister, auntie, or cousin.
Keep running because your mental happiness is more important than anything else.
You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!
~Belladonna~
Belladonna’s Flashlight 
This is a very timely message for me because just this week I realized that at least one “friend” isn’t really a friend at all…
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Awwww I’m so sorry that you aaare dealing with that. Such a hard pill to swallow.
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Thanks 💜
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Unfortunately real friends in hard times … you can be driving on a road with brakes on ! Friends to relaxing time and when we’re talking about real friend you can be counting on a hand and 5 fingers is a lot!
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Yes!!!!! 5 fingers may be a bit too many. Totallly agree
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Toxic people in guise of friends are the worst.
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So true!!!! Being caught off gurad will leave you feeling so betrayed.
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Exactly right!
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You were smart to end your training sessions with these women. It sounds like a toxic group.
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Thank you and yes they were beyond toxic. I felt so free when I ended my services.
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Omg!!
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I had an exact similar conversation last week about a friendship full of drama, tears, anxiety and one-way advantages. I too asked “how is this friendship serving you? what way does it nourish your life?” This sense of loyalty to entitled friends literally takes away so much of life.
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Well said! It will leaave you drained and feeling like you aaren’t good enough. Just a vicious cycle.
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OMG Belladonna, it’s unbelievable that people in this day and time are so ruthless and such back stabbers! 🔪🔪🔪 You made a very wise decision to drop these clients. A dollar ain’t worth risking your character over. Eventually, they will all take each other out! 😲😱😨 Too much drama with a scoop of toxicity is a dangerous couple! UGH!!! 😫
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Way too much drama! Girl it was always something going on and at first I was in coomplete shock. After the shock were off I ran! LOL
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And Run Belladonna Run you did! Good for you! 🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️
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This post is a mic drop! 🎤🎤🎤 It’s obvious that these women mentionedhere are an unhealthy bunch and they remind me of a few cliques I know. You’re right that too many people stay in relationships and friendships that diminish them rather than fulfill them. I’m with you, I don’t do drama and if I so much as smell a tiny whiff of it, I’m out! Awesome post, Bella! 💖💐🌺🦋
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Girl!!!! I’m with ya with the one whiff. It’s just shameful that these type of friendships still happen when we are well into our 40’s and 50’s.
I’m so glad you liked this post 💗
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I loved it! And it is shameful at that age- you’d think they would be smarter than that! Sadly, I’d say that most people never outgrow zero self-esteem!
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You nailed it!!!!! And also they are creating young bullies and then they mingle with our kids 🤦🏽♀️ endless freakin cycle
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Absolutely! 💯 These are the kinds of women who raise bullies! They lead by a very bad example!
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Right!!!!! So sad
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This is amazing ❤️
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Thank you Dimitria 💖
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What a great reminder. We should definitely choose our friendships wisely and try to be a good friends to those who are good friends to us too.
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I agree but it’s so hard to find good friends.
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