I’ll cry if I want to

Some days it takes everything you have just to be okay.

On days like this, your clock is your enemy. With every passing minute, you struggle to sit up and put your feet on the floor, and that damn clock is a constant reminder that the day is ticking away. You remind yourself that you haven’t won the lottery yet, so money must be made, and plans must be drawn so you can make more.

I want to continue to see more of the world and share those views with my fam so money must be made!

But it’s so difficult to find the will on days where you feel like you’re defeated and your entire body is putting forth 100% effort just to be. It’s a battle when grief and sadness have taken over your entire existence and taking a deep breath hurts.

On days like this, I pray, and I pray, and I pray. I ask for the strength and courage that I need so that tomorrow will be joyful. I ask that pain will be replaced with praise. 

Pain replaced with praise!

I was taught that you shouldn’t express your pain because there is always someone worse off than you. But I am here to tell you that your pain should not be compared to anyone else’s pain. The pain you feel is yours, and you don’t have to explain it to anyone. In fact, the more you explain, the angrier you may become… so avoid it and give yourself time JUST TO FEEL.

It took me years to learn that it’s okay to throw myself a pity party. Pity parties force me to look at my situation from many angles and channel my emotions. During this said party, I cry, laugh, talk to myself, pray and then make the rational decision to get off my ass and fix whatever is broken or grieve for what I may have lost.

Then I cry again and I can because it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to!

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!


12 Replies to “I’ll cry if I want to”

  1. This is very true and relatable, I agree with you one hundred percent! Joy in the true sense is available only if we allow all other emotions present. Crying is such healthy release. Days laden with pain like you describe helped me too to discover the power of prayer.

  2. I can connect Belladonna. 😉 I think once we go to this place, we are able to pause, regroup, and as you duly noted, “turn our pain into praise.” I know that’s easier said than done, but it is not an impossible task. Today is a new day. As they said, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Yet, we have to remember that even though we have goals we want to achieve, personal and professional, we can’t do it in a day.

    Yep, the clock keeps ticking and it is doing what it is supposed to do. ⌚ Don’t allow the ticking clock to distract you, because it will throw you off, and you will get further behind, not relishing the progress you already made. But sometimes, we may need to realistically reevaluate what we plan to do, what we are currently doing, and look what we’ve done and how far we’ve come. Hugs and smooches!!! 🤗💋🥰

    1. Amen Amen Amen!!!!! Thank you for this!! Sometimes we need to reboot and start fresh. Life has a funny way of beating you down and making you feel like a crazy person.
      But a few tears and cheesecake always works for me 🤣

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