Whenever I was at my lowest, I hurt people that I once loved.
I recognize and acknowledge that trait in me; therefore, I can see it in others. However, very few will admit it.
I’ve come a long way and have done a 180 on that toxic trait. Now I’m not saying it’s entirely out of me, but I can manage my emotions.
I cringe when I think back on how many friendships I dropped because I was in a bad place mentally. I would literally let one thing send me flying over the edge and resulted in me washing my hands of that particular person. Oddly when I do that, emotions and deep feelings for that person are immediately wiped away, and I move on.
My husband often says it’s crazy how I can remove deep feelings so rapidly. And after a couple of years of making sense of my personality trait, I get it. (I’ll get into personality behavior at a different time)
A significant part of our personality, or in this case our behavior, was developed when we were children.
I felt abandoned and hurt quite often when I was a young Bella. To say that I grew pretty comfortable with being alone is an understatement. I became used to people coming and going out of our home and always with heavy chaos. My feelings were neglected; in fact, they still are, but I control who plays a role in my life. I can choose to speak to you or not speak to you.
Have you ever noticed that you can feel like a big girl or boss, so to speak, in your everyday life? And then here come the people that want to keep you where they think you should be, and you instantly feel small. They over talk you on a subject of which you are well diverse.
Have you ever noticed that you can feel like a big girl or boss, so to speak, in your everyday life. And then here come the people that want to keep you where they think you should be, and you instantly feel small. They overtalk you on a subject of which you are well diverse.
And just like that, hurt feelings come rushing back in, and once again, you are left to clean up your emotions.
When I began to date my husband, I hurt him a lot because I was coming from a hurt place. I wasn’t prepared to be with someone that loved me and showered me with attention. To put it bluntly, I didn’t know how to receive love. I had to patch up many holes in my soul and wait for my internal bruises to heal. Sadly I’ve only been bruise-free for almost four years. But I’m here.
It takes years to recover from being a hurt person and even longer when you allow your hurt to hurt someone else.
Seek help on how to heal you.
You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!