Pretty Hurts

We all have our perception of what pretty means to us.

We will all go to different lengths to achieve our idea of pretty. NO matter how bad it hurts, some will continue to do it.

I was sitting in a chair at my favorite spa, waiting on my turn to get my eyebrows threaded and facial hair waxed. And as I waited for my name to be called, I heard a woman scream out because she was getting her nose hair waxed. She turned around and looked at all of us waiting for our turn in the torture chair; her eyes were full of tears, her nose red, and she said, 

“Why do we do this to ourselves”?

We all looked at one another and said, because we want to be pretty.

I recently began getting settled into bed a little early so I could watch 30 minutes of Botched. Years ago, I watched this show, and I forgot just how interesting it is and how incredible the two plastic surgeons are.

Doctors Terry Dubrow and Paul Nassif come together and fix all the mistakes that other plastic surgeons made on clients searching for their idea of pretty. The men and women have had everything from concrete put into their cheekbones, lips, to leaking and lopsided implants. Some have had breast implants that left their nipples placed in the wrong area.

OH, and nose jobs are the biggest botched jobs. I’ve seen so many people come on the show complaining that they can no longer breathe out of their nose.

So I began to think;

Is society to blame for all the botched surgeries, waxing, threading, and putting our bodies through rigorous workouts?

Are parents to blame for kids searching for pretty, leaving them to feel like looks are all that matter?

Whenever I venture off to Facebook land, I see parents posting about their female kids. I stress females because the majority will refer to them as “my beautiful daughter.” I’m waiting to read more about their daughter.

Like is she just pretty, or is she more than that?

The comments from family and friends will go even further and say, 

“OMG, she is absolutely beautiful.”

“She is so gorgeous.”

“Her hair is perfect.”

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Isn’t that why we post our best pictures”? We want people to see us at our best, so we can get a little praise and attention.

I GET IT! But when is enough, ENOUGH!

We live in such a shallow world, and let’s face it, it’s different being a teenager now than it was in the ’70s, ’80s, 90’s and early to mid-2000s. As soon as teenagers open any social media platform, they are faced with standards that no one can live up too. A bunch of photoshopped pictures and delusional captions reading;

“My life is like a vacation,” BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Then we have the Kardashians… so long and hurry up and get off the air. They have made millions off of their plastic butts, boobs, lips, liposuction, and nose jobs. 

Once again, forcing teens to want to live up to an impossible standard. They are all fake from head- to -toe and they still photoshop every picture they place on Instagram.


When my girls were little, and people would say they are so pretty, my husband would look at my girls and say, “You’re brilliant too.”

He would honestly do that every single time. 

The thought of his girls being in this world thinking that looks are all that mattered sickened him. He has always said that anyone can be pretty, but it’s hard to be brilliant!

Pretty hurts, shine the light on whatever’s worse. Tryna fix something. But you can’t fix what you can’t see. It’s the soul that needs the surgery.

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!


48 Replies to “Pretty Hurts”

  1. This is so right Belladonna. Women specially do this to themself because of social pressure. Parents and other adults around young people should tell them that looks are not the most important part of their personalities.

    1. Its easy to say, but what happens when you get some money, how are you going to spend it? on materialistic things, like cars homes, the money is going to be spent anyways, so in sense we are all materialistic because we want things, so that’s why we judge someone because first impressions are everything.

      1. All things in moderation… It is our desires that drag us away. Shopping can be an addiction or a means for one to feel worthy or significant in someone else eyes. Most millionaires we will not be able to recognize, because of their modest appearance. However, you make a valid point and I agree with it, but there are those who chose chastity and use their money for charity.
        Thanks for your engagement and sharing your thoughts with me. I appreciate it. Have a wonderful day

      2. your right about the fact that there are people in this world who are not so self absorbed. I have met a few of them but not to many. yes you are one of the “non self absorbed” people that I have met, its a pleasure to meet good people especially on the web.

    2. Thank you so much friend! I’m working hard on mentoring young ladies. We all have some Oprah, Michelle Obama, Vice President Harris, and Stacey Abrams in us we just need to reminded of such 😁
      I appreciate seeing you over here!!♥️

  2. I’m waiting to read more about their daughter – this is such a key line. It truly hurts so much of human potential with such limited judgments cloaked as compliments. Your post is so very relevant and I loved reading it.

    1. I love reading your comments. I wish more women felt pretty becaus me they are brilliant and not trying to fix something that it already perfect. We are just to hard on ourselves😔

  3. its very good idea to teach kids how to appreciate things more. otherwise they’ll grow up not liking what’s on the inside and being obsessed with the outside look.

    1. I agree! I know men feel the pressure to be handsome and muscular but women have it the worse. We are constantly reminded that we should be thin, have perfect hair and features in order to be desirable. UGHH! When really all we need is confidence and let the beauty shine from the inside and focus on being brilliant. Thank you so much for your comment.

      1. I agree, the world is a “looks” place, our first impression is more often than not based on our looks, and teaching that to kids really messes things up, I agree its sad that we have to be so “perfect”. Trying to be perfect is crippling, and that’s why beauty hurts to me.

      2. Your words are beautiful and I so agree and appreciate your comment. I wish that Instagram would stop placing how many people liked your video. It really brings down the mood. So many kids feed off of likes and to them likes mean you’re beautiful! Hate it

  4. You just released a wonderful version of Pretty Hurts.
    Beautiful flow of thoughts in words.
    I couldn’t agree more. But so we learn everyday. Remind all our children how brilliant they are.
    I don’t know why we hold back on those words.
    Brilliant, clever, smart , intelligent swells so warm up inside.
    We shouldn’t be scared of those words. Some children are shy and hold back and we become a bit shy and cautious as parents to clothe our kids with those words. But we should they have every right to be dressed in brilliance.
    As for botched I even stopped watching those repair jobs.

    Keep showering us with your talent soaked with knowledge and understanding. It is extremely welcoming and warming to read your advice.
    Now let me get back to my play group.
    The days become busier and busier.
    Have a wonderful morning.

    1. Amen!!! loved you thoughts.
      Yes we should flood our kids with positive words that will make them feel like they are invincible. Your play group is so blessed to have you.
      Bottched is so hard to watch sometimes but I love to see how the doctors fix up the botched areas.

      1. I agree. You are welcome. I don’t think they have any idea how blessed they are, but it’s all good.
        I watched a couple of episodes and that was enough. Never went back there again.

      2. I know, thanks, i avoid breaking out in a rash.😂 It’s ok, the less I see is good for me.

  5. Girl Belladonna…now that’s a mic-dropping commentary! I so agree with you and it’s not just the young girls who are sucked into the social media mania of beauty. We adults get caught up in the superficial of what others define as beautiful, including the rock-solid abs and voluptuous butt. 🤳🏼

    Last month, I posted a similar sentiment about retouching photos for that perfect social media look ( among our young girls. Society can be so twisted when it comes down to its rules about what perfection is and what it looks like. 🥰

    I love your positive affirmations that you are doing with your girls! Hats off to you and your husband. 👒

    1. Thank you so much!!!!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️

      Social media is indeed horrible for all ages😔 I really can’t stand it. I’ve even heard grown women taking about how many likes they received in a picture. Absolutely sickening!!

      I’m headed over to read your post now ♥️

      1. Belladonna, you are beautiful inside and out. I’m so glad you have not fallen into that trap. And you are right, it is so sickening and disheartening how many people (females and males) fall into this tragic lie.

        Thanks so much for sharing such honesty! Have an awesome week! 💖🥰❤

  6. I heard that for every selfie someone posts on social media, there were 10 taken before it that the person didn’t like enough to post. It’s sad that people want the attention and only show their best selves because those moments when we are “ordinary” are really the most beautiful ones. Most days I don’t wear makeup and, you know what, I feel more comfortable than those days I put on mascara. HUGS

  7. What you conveyed is absolutely true. It’s time to change the way we think. Beauty is not a reflection of one’s personality. Your nature shines brighter than you physical features.

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