Over the weekend, I read a few blogs and even made my way over to “doomsland”.
Also, known as Facebook!
I think you all know by now how much I’m not too fond of Facebook. It’s filled with a bunch of phony’s and if you want to read a bunch of nonsense or self-proclaimed philosophers, scientist and doctors, then make your way over.
I swear I always feel like my IQ drops every time I log on to that death trap.
Anyway, as I was reading, I started to question, “Why do we have to suffer through something to appreciate what we have”?
I read several posts that talked about what someone or what they went through and how greatly they currently appreciate life. Now I’m not here to battle that or discuss this topic, but I want to talk about kids. Not just any kids but more specifically privileged kids, okay, my son!
Everything in life has become accessible to him. He’s intelligent, freakish huge, handsome, and has two parents that would move mountains for him. He recently had the opportunity to work with a defensive lineman from Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and he taught him pass rush drills. When my son came home, he told my husband and me about it in the most monotone voice. We, on the other hand, flipped out and couldn’t hold back our excitement.
After my son went back to his room, my blood started to boil. I yelled out his name and said, “GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE NOW”!!!!!!
He knew he was in trouble because I used his full name.
As soon as that giant head appeared in our door, we said, “Do you know how lucky you are to have the opportunities you have. We are paying an arm, and a leg for football camps, training, travel expense, and our grocery bill has doubled due to feeding you better quality meats. And not mention his eating schedule is INSANE!!!
We had to remind him that millions of kids have talent but suffer from a lack of support and money to perfect their craft. We supply him with both! But I would prefer to scale back my support than to watch my child become ungrateful for what he has.
What do you guys think about giving too much support, or is that even thing to have too much support?
You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!
~Belladonna~
I wonder if we don’t give our kids enough chances to fail. Sounds mean, but I don’t intend it to sound callous. I do it too — try to give my kids the best opportunities when I can.
But I think we sometimes forget the value of “wanting” and “faceplanting it”.
That’s exactly it!!!!! I agree a 1000%. I think without allowing them to fail we might create soft adults. And I don’t want that.
Hmm, no you can’t give too much genuine support 😉 It’s just that sometimes getting that in perspective is hard and even more so for children to do so. After all, they really only have their own social bubble to draw their experiences from. Give him time 😉
He had a cold so hopefully that was his problem.
Ah, ok.
A lack of money does not necessarily prevent a kid from achieving their dreams. When we feel like we have a “lack” of something, we often fall into the trap of chasing things which never works btw. There are people who became very successful but started off with nothing. It’s resilience and perseverance that leads to success. How much are you willing to outwork the person next to you? Outwork everyone else in the room and you’ll be successful. I agree that entitlement is becoming a problem among kids these days. It was a problem in my generation as well – I am a Millennial. There are lots of Millenials who don’t know how good their lives actually are….. and yet, they are unwilling to put in the work. Instead, they complain like the majority of people who have fallen prey to a comfortable life.
Sadly if you are low in funds then you will not have the opportunity to play lacrosse, hockey or soccer nor will you be able to afford football camps. These sports besides football can and will run from 3,000 to 7000 per year. I know when I was growing up this would not have been an option for me. There are several organizations that you can donate money and cleats to support a child. It doesn’t matter how much resilience you have, if you live somewhere that doesn’t have donations set up. I have 3 kids and have seen a lot of hardship and talent go unnoticed.
We’ve decided not to put our kids in expensive sports and activities. For the example, we aren’t putting our daughter in dance classes because it’s very $$$. We’re a frugal family and have saved up money to put our kids in extracurricular activities, but we have to be selective about what they’re going to play. We have saved up enough money to send our daughter to university for 1 year (she’s 4), and we have another baby on the way. I hope to have 3 kids eventually. “It’s not about how much you earn. It’s about how much you save.” Idk who said this but I like that quote.
In terms of seeing talent go unnoticed, it’s too bad that kids have to be on sports teams in order to get noticed/famous. I’m not banking on my kids getting famous from playing sports. Soccer is a relatively affordable sport so if we are going to put our kids in sports, my husband suggested soccer. I feel like social media perpetuates feelings of inadequacy, anger, frustration, and jealousy. The whole “flex culture” thing on social media makes it worse imo.
Congratulations on having a baby! I miss those times so much😍
I use to teach in an area that was low income and it is so frustrating to see how many families can’t help their kiddos get more training in their desired area. And unfortunately for soccer, colleges focus on the kids that are playing in the HIGH priced tournaments. And due to Covid college football coaches are relying on camps this spring to see new talent.
I wish I could sponsor 1000’s of kids. Hopefully one day I can♥️
I use to teach dance and loved it. Good luck to your baby girl😍 When are you due?
My son probably won’t be playing competitive soccer or expensive sports. That’s definitely outside a bracket that we can afford. But if he wants to play soccer, I will get him a soccer ball and let him practice on a soccer team. If my kids want to play instruments, I will support that. It can be expensive too, and often kids will start one thing and give up with it soon after. Then there are the hidden talents where kids thrive in a certain – I’m totally with you on supporting a talent where a child is gifted and will go far with that particular talent. I also agree that it can be very expensive.
I can imagine that it would be really frustrating seeing these hardships, and feeling like there’s not much that can be done to help. I really hope that you can sponsor them one day ♥️ Keep chasing your dreams and don’t give up! 🙌
I’m due May 28 and we are having a boy. My daughter isn’t too happy because she wanted a sister, but I’m sure they will be the best of friends.
My son is 7 years old, and I always turn on the news for him to see what is going on in Syria when he starts complaining.
I know that straightens him right up!
For that moment 😄
😁 kids!!! Lol
gotta love them
Hmmmm…..I think you have to support your kids. I think that’s the main part of being a parent. However, the kid has to really really want something in order for a parent to go all out. Also….verbal, mental intellectual support is always good. However…the money thing….this is where it gets tricky. I think when they’re under 23, if you have the means to support them, you do it to the best of your ability. But there’s a point where if your kid wants to be an actor, they need to realize that they have to figure out those steps on their own. You can’t still support a 35 year old who is still “trying”. It’s definitely a tough line though
Agreed. Hopefully he was monotone because he wasn’t feeling the best. His attitude took me back because I never saw that side of him.
Oddly I do know someone that is supporting there 30 year old actor and things aren’t looking to good
Right? There’s a point where kids have to become adults with all the responsibility that comes with it
Especially if they are no longer a “kid” 🤦🏽♀️
Exactly!
I have experienced that and I am a single parent. My son plays basketball, but the nonchalant attitude gets me. So, I pointed to his friends that does not have support. Not just money, but parents too busy to get them to even the free camps with pro’s. One thing about Greatness and appreciation it will make enough noise to be seen and heard! So all I do is make sure he has the opportunity and I tell him his failure is his choice. He is growing in his gratitude! I live like no one owes me nothing, I owe myself and that is what I try to pass on to my son.
Well said and you gave me chills. My husband says that to my son all the time. He reminds him that his parents were on food stamps and they had nothing. So he had t go above and beyond to create opportunities.
I never want my kids to be that annoying kid that thinks the world owes him anything. Thank you so much for your view on this.
you are surely welcome! I appreciate the topic and transparency. It helps others, ourselves and even maybe some young adults.
I also feel that if parents don’t evaluate themselves how do they know if what their doing is working or if their growing in their parenting.
So, you and your Husband is on the good path!
Thank you! Transparency is how we grow and I value good sound advice♥️
Thank you so much for sharing
😊💐❤️
I really hear you on – my husband and I have discussed sending our son to do some work in a developing country so he can really see what is like out there and to be grateful for all he has and want to help those who don’t.
I really believe in that!! Sometimes that’s what it takes and it’s so humbling
I love your post because you tell it so truthfully. I think that there’s support and then there’s giving them everything. You can support kids without giving them everything. You allow them to fall on their butt sometimes because life has it’s challenges and you want to teach them to face challenges. I totally get that, Bella! It’s sounds like you’re doing an awesome job and no doubt you’ll raise them to be healthy and responsible adults! <3
Thank you so much!!!!!♥️♥️
I pray that everything will work out I. The end. Parenting will have you second guessing yourself
You’re so welcome. And you’re right- it sure will, girl. It can be so complex at times and you will make mistakes along the way but it has a way of working out in the end.