Call me silly, but I often google things that will help improve my etiquette.
So I figured since the things that I’m finding are helping me, then maybe, just maybe, it can help someone else.
I get tongued tied when someone tells me life-shattering news. I don’t want to say the wrong things, and I don’t want to remain silent either. But most of all, I don’t want to offend anyone. So I sit and strain my brain to come up with something that will show I care. And while I’m doing that, I literally cringe at what I’m hearing everyone else say.
Now it’s a totally different ball game if you are sharing horrifying information with me in person rather than the phone. If I can see you, then I will grab you and hug you. For me a hug is worth so much more than words. There is just something about that human contact that makes you feel so protected. And I wish I could share a hug with the two ladies that are currently battling breast cancer. But since I can’t, I want to make sure that I’m saying the right things and just being silent when needed.
Some of the things that I found on my google search seemed like common sense. However, common sense isn’t very common (pointing at myself), so I will share this valuable information and hope that it helps you as much as it helped me.
5 Things You Never Say To Someone With Cancer
- You will be fine… I can feel it
- Cheer up
- I heard about a new treatment
- You’re so strong
- Please let me know if there is anything I can do
To Stupid To Make The List
- It’s a good thing you already had kids
- Everything happens for a reason
- Sugar feeds cancer
Please share one or two things or even a list that may come to your mind.
I will continue with this topic tomorrow, so please stay tuned!
You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!
~Belladonna~
Yeah, I heard most of these.
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I think I would be in shock to hear someone repeat some of these
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Do that-which you must Do
too good-better-best you determines how verb superb adjective you Do
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Do that-which you must Do
too good-better-best you determines how verb superb adjective you Do
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There’s someone worse off than you somewhere.
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OMG!!! That’s a good one. Thank you for adding it. I absolutely cringe when someone says that. It’s like dismissing the persons feelings and sayin mg deal with your “little” problem!!!
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You are very welcome 😉 Ha, yes, it certainly does. Sometimes, I think it is meant sincerely but it is one of those trite phrases whose undertones definitely say “Pull yourself together and move on” 😦
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Exactly!!
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This is much needed guidance yes, it is very often confusing to have these conversations.
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Thank you! Yes it’s so confusing and I hate saying the wrong things
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Great post, Bella. I’m the same way when I hear of someone having cancer or someone passing away. I’m so afraid of saying the wrong thing but I’m also scared of staying too quiet. So, like you, I rely on physical touch and I’ve found that taking the person’s hand and holding it always helps, or a hug, holding them. Something to let them know that I care and I’m there for them. Thank you so much for the reminders. Sending lots of love your way! ❤
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Thank you for that!!! Yes There is nothing like a physical touch. I hate staying too quiet and then cram eating that awkward tension.
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Oh, girl! I do too! It’s the worst feeling in the world!
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I think it’s important to try your best to be kind and it’s so lovely of you to Google things like that will help you be more polite/appropriate. I think one thing people probably don’t want to hear is fake positivity. I think it’s important to feel the negative emotions as well instead of repressing them.
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Yes!!! I agree. Fake positive sounds so forced.
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“It could always be worse.”
And this one really gets me.. – “Are you sure?”
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Oh yuck!!! You nailed it with that one 🤦🏽♀️ that is awful
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I honestly don’t know what is wrong with people sometimes.
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Right!!! Some folks are just odd
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That’s a really kind way to put it! 😆
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Right!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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I agree dear Belladonna. There is no words we can say. Hold their hands and give them support.
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Silence and comfort works well when paired together 💝
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I find that this post has so much of truth in it, and despite all the things being said in good faith, they make you feel worse.
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It rerally does make you feel worse.
And I try so hard to say the right thing and just stay quiet and listen when I have too.
Thank you for your words!
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