Kids say the darndest things.

Well, at least that’s what they say… right?

My kids have said many things that made me want to hide my head in a mound of dirt. Never to be seen in broad daylight ever again. But the thing is, they not only told teachers my business, but they told lies. The lies seemed so believable because it was usually something ridiculous to lie about.

Luckily the folks that were listening to my blabbermouth kids knew me and would get a good laugh while they told me the latest stories that were told. After getting a good chuckle, I would ask them, “Why on God’s green earth did you tell your teacher these things.” They would laugh and say… “I don’t know, but it made her/him laugh.”

And I always wanted to say, PLEASE START LYING ON YOUR FATHER! But nope only moms are in their big plan book. I imagine their book is filled with steps and tricks to make mom look like she’s a hot mess.

But anyway, I would love to take this time to share my favorite lie that was told by my then 4-year-old.

Went A Little Like This

It was your typical day, and I was headed into my daughter’s preschool to pick her up, and the receptionist begins to giggle when I walked in. I laughed, too, because that’s just how I am. When I see someone laugh, I automatically laugh too and lean in and ask, “What’s so funny.” Not thinking that I’m the joke.

She said, “We didn’t know you were so old and that you like younger men.”

I was immediately stunned because my husband is younger than me by 2 1/2 years. But I was struck with concern because she knew there was an age gap. So what the hell does this mean? Am I looking beat up or something?

She continued on and thankfully made the joke a little clearer.

She tried her hardest to stop laughing and said: We didn’t know you were 60 and your husband was 27″.

I busted out laughing and said, “What in the world are you talking about”?

Apparently, my daughter went to school and told her teacher that I was 60 and my husband was 27. I met him when he was in high school, and we were married when he went to college. Her teacher thought it was so funny and had her tell the entire staff.

They told me that my daughter had the best poker face and was so believable.

So yes, kids do say the darndest things, but damn, why did she make me that much older than my husband.

You could’ve chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!


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