Self Doubt

I have always carried self-doubt. From time to time I’ve doubted if I was good enough and wondering if I could step up to plate and be a good mom.

I hope I’m not alone here!

When I found out that I was pregnant with my first child, the only thing I felt was fear. I didn’t want to disappoint this little person. She needed me to be strong, and she needed me to love her unconditionally.

I doubted that I would be who she needed me to be and that in the end, I would break her heart. Leave her wanting everything and anything that I wasn’t. But over the years, I pushed all my insecurities aside and gave motherhood my all.

Love moved in. Not just any love, but I would die for you type of love.

Then over the years, God blessed me with 2 more beautiful humans to love. Along with those babies came a tremendous amount of love. But let me tell you…once again, I doubted if I had enough love to spread to 2 more humans. I was scared out of my mind that I would give one of them more love than the others.

So many parents have a favorite child, and I hate that!

I totally refused to be that person. And after 18 years of motherhood, my kids can tell you that I love them all equally. When one gets in trouble, they all get in trouble. I expect all 3 to do their absolute best in all that they choose to do, and I am undoubtedly their number one fan.

I would choose to take my last breath right now if that meant they could live.

Being a mom will expose all of your insecurities, fears, and doubt that you didn’t know you had. But the key is to approach it with an open heart and the mindset of, I am a perfect mess. AND be okay with that!

You could have chosen any blog to read, but you chose mine, and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~