Is This What Jealousy Feels Like​

I’ve honestly never experienced this jealous feeling that I had on Saturday. I don’t know if my emotions were triggered by the rainy weather or because I was hungry, or perhaps I was just sleepy.

Whatever the case, maybe I felt what I felt, and it made me sad.

This weekend I attended a birthday party, and I was having a great time laughing and talking to all the ladies that I haven’t been able to chat with for a short while.

All of our girls were jumping and having a great time at the trampoline park and happy to celebrate with the birthday girl. Then all of a sudden, my mood shifted, and I wanted to run out in the rain and flop down in the street and scream, “This isn’t fair.”

I hope you got a good laugh picturing me looking like an idiot.

Okay, back to the story, one of my dear friends walks through the door and tells us she is,

wait for it…..

Pregnant!

I grabbed her, hugged her, and couldn’t stop smiling. Once I let her go, I think I stood there frozen for at least 3 minutes. All I could think was she is the luckiest lady on the planet. Even though I must admit, before that moment, the thought of having more kids just didn’t exist.

Not only did it not exist, but when people ask me if my husband, I would ever consider having another child, my quick reply is, “are you crazy”! I have 3 kids, and they keep me on the move nonstop.  It takes all my husband I have to stay afloat, and somedays we barely see each other because he is shuffling a kid one way, and I’m shuffling in the opposite direction with another kid. Plus, we are outnumbered, 3 perky, energetic kids against 2 tired parents.

Talk about brutal.

But, at that moment, I felt something hard for me to describe. I don’t know what word to use other than empty.

You could have chosen to read any blog but you chose mine and I’m honored!

~Belladonna~

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