If You Love ME…​Tell Me No

Why is it so hard to tell the people that you love NO? Even if we see that by saying yes to everything may be killing them.

It’s a fine line between enabling someone and wanting them to feel satisfied. Notice I didn’t say happy, just happy. So many of us love so hard that saying no actually hurts. We want the ones we love to get what they need and not have to feel pain if they don’t.

I remember when my kids were little, I wanted then to have everything they asked for. I mean, I was a sucker for my kids. I went out of my way to make sure I could provide everything the desired. If I couldn’t get them what they wanted, I felt like I failed them. Then one day, I started practicing the word NO! I was exhausted by trying to keep up with their wants and needs that I just flipped out.

I told them that I don’t want to hear one more demand, and they saw the crazy look in my eyes and slowly backed away.

Being a parent is tough, but to me, it seems that being an enabler is tougher.

Lately, I have been glued on my 600-pound life. Each story consists of an enabler and in some situations, multiple enablers and an obese man/woman. In most cases, their obesity has left them bedridden and totally relying on family to cook and bring them meals, bathe them, and so much more.

But the thing that blows my mind is why in the world are the family members still bringing them over 7000 calories a day?

How hard is it to tell them NO. I will not bring you this junk food. I love you too much to help you kill yourself. You can’t walk on your own, you’re hooked up to an oxygen tank, you’re screaming bloody murder if someone tries to help you get up to walk. Blood clots are now forming in your legs from lack of movement and can and will kill you if it goes untreated.

One particular lady was determined to pull herself together for her children. She told her family that she was too weak to do this on her own. Her temptations for food are too intense for her to manage. She told her family to stop giving in to her request and please be the strength that she needs.

I had chills all over my body and tears could not stop flowing down my face as she cried out,

If you love me, tell me, NO!

You could have chosen any blog to read but you chose mine and honored.

~Belladonna~

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