Stuck In My Zone

Is it okay to be stuck in your zone? How about if it’s a positive zone? I have to admit that this is who I am. I rarely make plans because I dislike stepping out of my norm unless it involves traveling. Now that’s a different story altogether. If plans include making money and or seeing the world, other than that I am good to be left alone.

I think back to when I was a child, and I remember spending a lot of time alone. My siblings were older than me, and so I played and hung out with just me, and I liked that. Never really minded being alone. I had lots of toys, books and one hell of an imagination. The silence was always comfortable for me, and it still is. I never needed to be on the go with lots of friends and just had to have people around me. As a matter of fact, I have always avoided my phone and dodged invites. When I was a teenager my Friday nights after football season would consist of me being under a cozy blanket while eating pizza and watching Nick at Night with my mom and dog, lady. Then I would venture off to the kitchen to make brownies or cookies and reclaim my comfy spot on the couch….and I was in heaven!

All through college my husband (well boyfriend then) and I could not wait for Friday to find its way around so we could rent movies, eat pizza and wings and just relax and wind down from the week. To this day, we do the same thing, and my kids love it.

I have a Fall, Winter, Spring and Summer calendar and I know what to expect each week on that particular season. Almost down to the minute and when someone gives me an invitation to something I can feel my anxiety creeping on and mentally juggling my schedule around and making sure it won’t mess up my zone.

I have to break out of this zone because I’m missing the best part of life and that’s the unpredictability of what could arise. I know that it’s good to be organized and structured but at some point, it is a bit much.

I look up to people that have a fly by the moment lifestyle and just meet up with friends that called two hours ago to make plans. If you call me at the last minute I will think you have lost your mind. Do you mean to tell me that you want me to meet you somewhere in a couple of hours? I don’t think so. If this little meet up isn’t in my calendar for about a week then it ain’t happening!

Maybe one day I will push my calendar to the side and be spontaneous. But not in June, July, August, September or October and November. December doesn’t look promising either.

Will I always be stuck in my zone…..

You could have chosen to read any blog but you chose mine and I’m honored.

~Belladonna~